Poetic deception

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I try to write so intellectually.

Forcing intricate words into sentences as if I know every word in the dictionary. 

Trying to gain the praise of my fellow peers - hoping that they'll fall for my smart trickery.

Trying to think of clever word play and rhyming words.

Digging deep  to think of what the readers never heard.

Wanting people to think Ive got what they call "artistic talent"

Little do they know that without their approval I would feel invalid.

Waiting anxiously for their reactions as they read through my artificial thoughts and feelings.

Hoping they don't see through this facade I'm concealing.

 Criticizing myself just so they could sit there and reassure me, needing their words of acceptance to let me know, I am indeed worthy.

Dreading the feeling of being un unique. Knowing that these simple words  anyone could speak.

 Yet I can not stop because I am in fact addicted, continuing  to play with your thoughts until I am convicted.


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