Heartbreak Weather -N.H

anxious

January 29, 2019

Skylar's POV:

Right when I woke up this morning I felt uneasy. Very on edge and anxious. I wish my thoughts would shut up for just 30 minutes. I swear the only peace I get is when I'm asleep unless my thoughts invade that too. That is what happened yesterday. My brain is just her, Harry, her, Harry, Niall saying I deserve to be happy. Back to her and then Harry. I wanna scream but I don't want to scare the shit out of Niall. I never realized I was rocking back and forth until Niall stops my movements.

"Sorry. Got a lot going on up there." I say pointing to my head. I really need to see my therapist.

"Do you normally wake up feeling this way? Or just when you're with me?" He says making a joke trying to lighten the mood.

"Just when I'm with you." I say with no expression. "Relax I'm just kidding." I laugh throwing a pillow in his face.

"You're not funny." He says throwing the pillow back. I place the pillow in my lap and look over at him. His bright blue eyes stare back at me and I start to get that tingling feeling again in my stomach.

"To answer your question. No I don't normally wake up this way it just springs up on me sometimes." I sigh and place the pillow over my face.

"Okay, none of that, come on." He says pulling the pillow away from me.

"Let's go get breakfast." He says standing from the bed.

"You don't want to make it here again?" I ask kinda wanting to stay here.

"I can't handle anymore burnt toast." He chuckles walking into his closet.

"One time Niall! That was one time!" I say feeling offended. I didn't mean to burn the toast it was an accident. I.. got distracted by nothing in particular.

"It won't kill you to get out of bed and come get breakfast with me." He says laying clothes out for me on the bed. I smile at him and grab the clothes to go change. I showered last night before bed so I feel a lot better. Niall still has a wet head of hair from showering this morning. How does he always look so good? He doesn't even try! Ugh that's so unfair. This man is beautiful.

"SKYLAR!" Niall says more loudly and I snap out of my thoughts.

"Stop drooling it's getting on the carpet." He says with a series face and for a second I get scared looking down to check. He lets out a laugh and I instantly get embarrassed.

"Not funny Horan." I say shutting the bathroom door fast. I have got to stop zoning out when I look at Niall. He invads my thoughts and completely takes over. Holy shit wait, I wasn't thinking of all my other shit while I've been talking to him. It's like he pushed it all away. Although now I'm thinking about it again but still my thoughts calmed down. Did God send me an Angel? I shake my head at my thoughts and get changed.

xxx

The familiar bell chimes as Niall and I walk into my favorite place. It's a little place close to Harry's. It's in walking distance so I come here a lot.

I'm up at the counter ordering my food. Niall already ordered his and found a table for us. They will bring the food out once it's ready. I get my iced coffee and as soon as I turn around my blood starts to boil.

I swear every time I'm out eating breakfast bitches are walking through the doors. I roll my eyes as she walks in. She doesn't see me but I see her. Her eyes land on Niall and I'm instantly pissed off. I see a smile approach Niall's face as she walks up to him. Yuck, I think I'm gonna throw up. I hate this. Why me? I'm being punished aren't I. It's because I peaked at my presents that one year for Christmas and now I'm being punished. I gotta make myself feel better some how. Niall laughs and now I'm annoyed. I make my way back to the table after I pay and I sit down ignoring her because she knows damn well who I am.