Driving Sideways

26.

Derek sat on the back porch of the house waiting patiently for the phone call. He was tapping his fingers on the plastic patio furniture as he waited, his stomach was in knots as he sighed. He swallowed hard as the ring of the phone interrupted his thoughts. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so nervous to talk to someone on the telephone. He flipped the phone open on the third ring. "Hey..." he said, his voice was soft and sweet as he listened for her response.

"What do you need?" She asked softly, her voice was filled with anxiousness as she listened for his answer, her nerves on high alert as she waited for his response.

"I just... wanted to call you." He said, pausing slightly as he spoke, the anxiety dripping from his words.

"Derek? You paged me... is something wrong?" She asked, hearing the hesitation in his voice.

"Where are you?" He asked softly.

"I'm at work... Der... what did you want?"

"Mer..." he said softly, his voice taking on the tone that he would get when talking to his patients. The tone that he got when he told a patient's family that their loved one had died or were going to die. The tone that was not the tone that she wanted, or expected to hear from her husband.

"No." She said sternly. "You... No, Derek..." She said, her voice filled with anxiety as she tried to form a sentence, but found herself at a loss for words.

"Meredith, listen..."

"No, Derek..." She shook her head as she looked around the hallway, her pace was slow, but picking up. "No, Derek..." She whispered.

"Meredith, listen... you have to relax.... Just let me talk, okay?"

"No, Derek... No... No, No, no... Derek..." Meredith said into the phone, the anxiety stronger as she walked faster, her body propelling down the hallway as she tried to find a quiet corner. "Derek, stop right now..."

"Meredith, you were right earlier about there being something that I wasn't telling you... and I was wrong... I was wrong, and I should have told you earlier."

"Derek... Derek, I don't want to hear it... tell me my baby is fine."

"Richie is fine..."

"Tell me that you're fine." She said as she swung open the door to the stairwell.

"Meredith, where are you going?"

"Derek... tell me my mom is fine." She said as she stomped up the stairs rapidly.

"Meredith, where are you?"

"Tell me that my mother is fine, Derek..." She said as she continued to climb the stairs. "Tell me that my MOTHER IS FINE, DEREK!" She screamed.

"Your mother is fine." Derek said, figuring that he wasn't lying, because right this moment, she was fine. Ten minutes later, she may not be, but right now, she is fine.

"Could I talk to her?" She stopped.

"If you want to." He said softly, truthfully.

"I don't want to..." She paused. "She's fine?"

"For now..." Derek said softly. "Meri... your mother is... sick..."

"No." Meredith whimpered. "No, oh... no... please... Derek..."

"Meri... where are you?"

"Nowhere..." She whimpered as she sat on the top step of the stairwell and rocked back and forth.

"Meri... where are you?"

"Nowhere... she's dying, isn't she? She's dying... I told you! I TOLD YOU SHE WAS DYING! I TOLD YOU!" She screamed into the line as she stood up and slammed her fist into the latch bar on the door, swinging the door open to the last floor of the hospital, a floor mainly used for storage. "I TOLD YOU!" She screamed.