Driving Sideways

52.

They walked into the room slowly, the little boys were pulling back on their parent's arms slightly as the sights and sounds hit them. Derek looked down at his boys, dressed in their surgical garb and smiled at the curious look in their eyes, though he knew that fear was hiding within them as well.

"Where is she?" Richie asked as he pulled on the mask over his mouth slightly, being sure not to pull it off.

"Right over there, buddy..." Derek said as Richie released his brother's hand and let Derek lift him up, Greyson was lifted by Meredith as they both approached the bed. Mark stood back near the door, almost as if he were too afraid to approach. Derek stepped onto one side of the bed, and they looked down at Ellis.

The ventilator was still in her mouth, mask over her nose and mouth and her skin looked pale and pasty. Her hair was hidden by the gauze head wrap and the only solid thing the boys could see was her hands, and even they had an IV in one of them. "Are you sure that's GG?" Richie whispered.

"It's GG..." Derek whispered.

"She looks sad..." Richie whispered.

"She looks sleepy..." Greyson replied.

"Well, she's had a long couple of days... so she's pretty tired." Meredith whispered.

"We don't want to wake her up..." Greyson whispered back.

"Right..." Meredith nodded.

"That's not really GG, is it?" Richie said again, glancing to his father and back to his mother.

"It is..." Meredith replied.

"Tell her to wake up." Richie replied.

"Sweetheart, we need to let her sleep..." Meredith said softly.

"I don't believe it's GG. I can't see her hair..."

"Her hair is under the bandage, sweetheart." Meredith replied.

"She's not supposed to be sleeping, she's supposed to be in her office sitting at her desk yelling at doctors." Richie said indignantly, his brow furrowed in concern.

"She's the boss." Greyson replied.

"Hey..." Mark finally said as he approached the bed. All four of the Shepherd's attention was on him as he approached them timidly. "If this wasn't GG... then why is he here?" Mark asked, raising his eyebrows as he pointed at the little brown bear sitting on the edge of her pillow with his own surgical mask that Derek had fastened on him.

"Snuggle bear..." Greyson smiled beneath the mask, the little corners of his eyes wrinkled in happiness as he saw the bear. "It is GG, Richie..." He said with a smile.

Richie looked down at the woman lying on the bed and back to Mark, and then back to the bear. He sighed as he scrutinized the situation and shook his head. "I don't know about this..." He sighed seriously.

"It is GG, Richie..." Greyson said as he reached for his brother. "It is..."

Richie sighed as he turned his head, burying his head in his father's shoulder for a moment, he could feel tears coming to his eyes and he wasn't able to stop them. "I wanna go home." He whimpered into his father's shoulder. "Daddy, take me home..." He whispered.

"I'm going to...take him out into the hallway..." Derek whispered. "Are you guys alright?"

"We'll be alright..." Meredith whispered as she watched her little boy trembling in his father's arms. She felt so helpless that she couldn't help him feel better. It was a sad time for everyone and it was going to be especially hard on the little ones. "Mommy loves you, Richard..."