Driving Sideways

44.

Mark and Derek held their gaze for a few moments, their eyes were both filled with a deep fear that neither could define. Finally, Mark stepped forward toward Derek, watching as the look on his friend's face became even more lost than moments before. "Derek...here..." he said as he held his hand out to his friend. "Here, let me... let me help..." He said as he walked to Derek and stepped beside him, tugging on the surgical gown, releasing the ties. "Here, man... let's get you the hell out of here..." He said as he pulled the surgical gown down his friend's arms, crumpling it as he reached Derek's hands, he gently pulled the gloves, inside out and off his hands, facing Derek as he stood before him, his hands still outstretched.

Mark crumpled the gown and tossed it into the trash can, turning back to Derek, he watched as his friend's eyes fell to his hands. "Here..." Mark said as he stepped forward and pushed on Derek's arm, moving him toward the scrub sink, he turned the water on and pushed his friend's hands beneath the flow of water. Derek watched as the water ran off his hands, his fingers not moving, his eyes staring at his fingers as he pushed his hands together. "Meredith has eaten... lunch... she had lunch." Mark stammered as he watched Derek's eyes dart to him as he suddenly started to scrub his hands. "She is sleeping right now... in an on call room with the boys...she has the boys with her." Mark nodded.

"Meredith is alright...?" He whispered.

"She's doing alright... she's pretty broken up about it... and she's waiting for you."

"I... I can't..." Derek shook his head.

"Yes you can..." Mark said with a half smirk. "Don't give me the bullshit... you need her just as much as she needs you..."

"Where did you take the boys?" Derek asked, looking up at Mark.

"Park... ice cream... ferry... anywhere that I could to wear them out as totally and completely as I could." Mark replied.

"You'd make a good father..." Derek nodded. "But you make an even better friend." Derek said with a sigh, swallowing hard.

"Hey... I'm here for the support... you know? I'm like a bra... keep things all perky and lifted... and..."

"And you're always rubbing against someone's boobs..." Derek chuckled as he felt all of the tension and anxiety slowly releasing from his body. The tension in his stance was draining and he could feel his body trembling. "Mark..." He said, his voice cracking slightly as he took a deep breath. "How do I tell her?"

"You walk in there... and you just look into her eyes... she'll know immediately... then you hug her... and you hold her... and if you're lucky... she won't puke on you." Mark joked.

"Always with the jokes... have you ever been serious a day in your life?"

"I tried once... but I could only sleep until one in the afternoon that day." Mark said with a sigh.

"Where is she?" Derek asked as he dried his hands and stepped closer to the door, placing his hand on it as he looked to the floor.

"Next floor up... on call room... close to the nurse's station." Mark nodded. "I was going to go grab something to eat... do you need something?"

"Please." Derek sighed as they stepped out of the scrub room.

"I'll give you guys some time..." He said softly with a smile.

"Thanks..." Derek said as he started to walk down the hallway. "Mark...?" He said as he turned around, watching Mark raise his eyebrows at his friend. "How did you know that she..."

"Because if she had... you wouldn't have been in the scrub room... you would have been upstairs already..." Mark nodded as Derek waved to him. "I'll see you later."

"Later..." Derek sighed turning himself toward the elevator as he made his way to his wife's side.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Derek walked down the hallway toward the on call room. He thought for a moment about the similarities of hospitals and how though he was thousands of miles from the hospital that he knew so well, there was something familiar, inviting and comfortable about this place.

He stopped in front of the on call room for a moment, collecting himself as best as he could, knowing that his family was on the other side of the door, and that no matter what the issues or tragedy, their love would pull them through. He took a deep breath and stepped into the room and immediately, two little dark haired heads lifted. Their faces lit up the room as they bounced from the bed. Derek held his finger to his lips, hushing them before they shouted as he spied his sleeping wife on the bed nearby.

"Hey, guys..." he whispered as he lifted them up, receiving a kiss from each of them as they hugged him tightly.

"We missed you, daddy..." Richie said with a smile as he hugged Derek hard.

"Daddy missed you..." He said softly.

"Did you miss me, Daddy?" Greyson whispered, following his brother's example.

"Yes, of course I missed you, silly dilly... what are you two up to?"

"We're coloring... Uncle Mark got us some Spiderman color books..." Richie said with a smile as he wiggled a little as Derek helped him down. "I'll color you a picture, Daddy..."

"I want to color daddy a picture..." Greyson wiggled as Derek let him to the floor and the boys climbed onto the bed.

"Why don't both of you color some pictures for mommy and daddy..."

"And GG!" Richie said out loud, and widened his eyes as he covered it quickly. "I mean for GG too..." he whispered as he giggled, going back to coloring as Derek smiled and shook his head. He kicked his shoes off and stepped close to the bed.

He looked down at his sleeping wife, her brow furrowed in her sleep, her leg occasionally twitching as she slept fitfully. He crouched down and lay his fingertips on her cheek, instantly watching the wrinkle in her brow disappear as she slowly opened her eyes. "Derek..." She whispered, lifting her head a little, she watched as he tilted his head to match her gaze. "Derek... you..."

"Meri...I need to talk to you..." He said as he swallowed hard, nodding his head softly as she asked the same question a million times and he returned the answer with a simple nod of his head.

"Oh..." She whimpered, her eyes darting to the boys on the bed as they looked up at her cry. "Derek..." She managed to utter as she reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into her as she crashed her lips onto his, running her fingers through his hair as he groaned and pushed his lips from hers after a moment as she stared into his eyes. "Say it..." She whispered.

"She...just has to wake up..." he whispered, watching as the sparkle in her eyes shined once again, if only for a moment, it was there.

"You're my hero..." She whispered, her eyes flashing to the boys as they watched their parents. "Boys... your daddy is my hero..." She said as she felt tears coming to her eyes and watched the tears coming down his cheeks. "You're crying..." She whispered.

"Heroes are not immune to tears, little miss Meri..." He said with a wipe of his face with his arm.

"I love you..." She whimpered.

"I love you..." He replied. "I love you... so much... and I don't ever, ever, ever want to imagine spending one more moment away from you... life is too precious... it's too goddamned precious..." He exclaimed as he grabbed her into a hug and rolled himself onto the bed, keeping her in his arms as he began to cry softly into her, as she held him securely in her arms.