all i want

Cyrus

TIME SKIP (ONE WEEK)
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Dear Liam,

You broke up with me by killing yourself. Real classy. Now your fourteen year old sister won't come out of her bedroom.

About a week ago, I went into Eleanor's room to talk to her, unintentionally starting an argument with her. Now we're standing in the same room again, but this time we're getting ready for your funeral. Shes trying her hardest not to break down completely as she cakes her face in makeup. God, I'm glad you can't see her like this.

I can't help but feel guilt. Maybe if I had been a better boyfriend to you, you wouldn't be six feet under.

Gosh the last time i wore this tie was when we went to the nutcracker together. Just you and me. We ate all the kettle corn we could until you were holding my long hair back as I puked in the upstairs toilet at your house. I haven't eaten popcorn since.

I wish you were here right now. I really, really miss you. Come home soon?

-Cyrus

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"What are you writing?"

I fold it up hastily and shove it deeply in my pocket, "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

She puts her hairbrush down and looks at me through her desk mirror, "I do that too. It's a letter, isn't it?"

I nod, "Yeah. How did you know?"

"Because I keep mine." She points at a basket by her bedside table before going for her mascara. I quickly glance inside of it. there were loads of papers, some crinkled, some folded neatly, and those that weren't were ripped to shreds.

"Can i read one?"

She shrugs, "I suppose. Just don't get too emotional, i'm trying to put makeup on and I don't want it to run."

I go through the basket when one slip of paper catches my eye. It was the only one that wasn't folded or crinkled or anything. It had highlighted hearts and stars along the sides of it and her handwriting was as pretty as cursive.

The words she printed on the paper flowed gracefully and swiftly like the waves 0f the calmest ocean in the world. She poured her heart and soul into the thin lines of the paper. It was nothing like i've ever read before.

"Eleanor... this is amazing."

She turns her head just enough to see which one I was reading, "You think so? That one is probably my least favorite. It's too sappy."

"No..." I say, "You describe him perfectly."

"Thanks." She says. She doesn't smile or laugh or anything. She just stares blankly at her reflection. She was on the brink of breaking.

"Sorry," I say, "I shouldn't have read it."

"No it's fine. I'm still adjusting." She explains, "I don't know how i'm gonna go back to school after this."

"Don't worry about school. It's barely summer."

She puts her face into her palms and composes herself, "I'm aware. I just can't help it." She stands up and faces me, "Do I look okay?"

She's wearing a plain black dress and matching Mary-Jane's. Her makeup looked decent due to the fact that she couldn't stop crying.

"Yeah. You look pretty."

She grabs a handbag sitting on her unmade bed. I had seen the bag before. It was the green one that Liam gave her for her birthday, a few months before he passed. I smile at this. It was progress.

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Word count: 574