all i want

Mother O' Brother

TW: homophobia

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I wake up to Mom pouring hot coffee into two cups. Her house looks even more dazzling when the sun shines through the cloth curtains. I look to my right. A cracked open door a few feet away from me reveals Liam, laying fast asleep in what I think is a guest bedroom. When reality sets in, I realize it was never a dream. Liam is alive.

I sit up and face the kitchen behind me, "Mom?"

She looks up and smiles, "Morning sweetie! I was going to make you a cup of coffee, but i didn't know if you drink it. How old are you now? 16?"

I laugh and rub my eyes tiredly, "Im 14, Mom."

She gasps, "I didn't realize! Well if you still want one let me know." She picks up one of the cups and brings it into the guest bedroom where Liam was asleep. She sets it on the nightstand and walks out.

"Hey Mom?"

"hm?"

"Where's Dad?"

She stops and fidgets with her knuckles. She gets exceedingly nervous and avoids my question but answers it anyways, "He um... He doesn't live here anymore."

"Well where does he live then?"

She shakes her head, "I don't know. We got a divorce when you and Liam ran away. He blamed me for it. He packed up his things and moved away, taking his love with him."

I automatically feel guilty for pushing her to answer it. I had no idea, "Im sorry. I didn't know-"

"Its okay Eleanor."

As I start to get up my eyes become black and I begin to see stars. Before my body can hit the ground I feel hard strong hands grab my arm. As I open my eyes Im only about an inch from the shag carpet, but i'm not touching it.

"You okay?" Liam's raspy morning says.

I laugh as my vision finally goes back to normal, "Low iron."

I stand up and collect myself. I register that I'm still wearing Liam's green sweatshirt, but he hasn't payed any mind to it, "Wait... Mom?"

"Yeah?"

I walk over to her, careful not to go too fast, "If Dad doesnt live here anymore, How did he save a girl's life in Minnesota?"

She slams the cooking knife she was using on the counter and looks at me through tears, "How did you find out about that?"

"Uh- Liam had a newspaper. Her name was Talia, I believe?"

She lets out a soft sob and continues, "Talia was a friend of mine's daughter. I was jealous of her for having kids because mine ran away... So I tried to take her." she says, "Your father tried to stop me."

Me and Liam both look at each other. I could clearly tell he had no idea either, "But-"

"He was coming back here to apologize to me, Eleanor... And h-he saw me running away with Talia and stopped me. Instead of putting me behind bars, he let me go. "

I think back to the newspaper article and pull it out of my backpack, 'May 18th, 2003, Rick Gold saves young girl from being kidnapped.'

"So.. You were upset Liam took me and ran away so you tried taking somebody's kid?"

Liam stomps on my foot. Mom's face became red and angry. She Gripped the side of the counter as her knuckles become white.

"Leave it alone Eleanor." He whispers.

I take a step back as her face goes from cherry red back to her fair skin. She looked like a spitting image of me when she wasn't mad.

"I think you should go. This Cyrus guy probably misses you."

"Cyrus is my boyfriend. He's not just some guy." Liam says defensively.

Mom grabs the knife and drives it into the wooden cutting board, "He's your boyfriend?"

Liam nods, "Yeah.. We've been dating for some time now."

Great. So mom's a kidnapper and homophobic. Just splendid.

"Get out of my house. I SAID GET OUT OF MY HOUSE." she yells, "I can't stand to see faggots like you standing under my roof."

I don't think i've ever seen Liam so scared in my entire life. He tried to mask the fear with every ounce in him. To protect me. I hurriedly grab my backpack and Liam's hand and go out the door. My biggest instinct is to call the cops. My fingers shake as I dial 911, still standing firmly on Mom's porch. She really was an awful person. It is her fault me and Liam ran away.

"What are you doing? We need to go."

"I'm calling 911." He grabs my phone and holds it away from me so I can't reach it, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? SHES A KIDNAPPER LIAM ARE YOU INSANE?"

"SHES OUR MOM."

"THAT DOESN'T JUSTIFY THE FACT THAT SHE ABANDONED US WHEN WE WERE KIDS. WE DIDN'T HAVE A CHILDHOOD AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF HER. OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES."

"IT WASN'T HER FAULT."

"THEN WHOS FAULT WAS IT?" I scream, "IT SURELY WASN'T DAD'S."

He looks at me, wailing, "I JUST WANT WHATS BEST FOR YOU ELEANOR. EVERYTHING IVE EVER DONE IS FOR YOU."

"OH SURE. SO YOU KILLED YOURSELF JUST FOR ME, HUH? YOU LEFT ME TO CYRUS FOR ME, HUH? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH THESE PAST FEW MONTHS. I HAD TO GO TO THERAPY FOR THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT, JUST TO GET THE PICTURE OUT OF MY HEAD. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO FEEL SO EMPTY!"

He scoffs, "OH I DONT KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE? YOU COULD BARELY TALK WHEN MOM PRACTICALLY DISOWNED US. YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. I DID. I WAS EIGHT. YEARS. OLD. WE WERE IN AND OUT OF FOSTER HOMES OUR ENTIRE LIFE UNTIL I TURNED EIGHTEEN. I KNEW WHAT IT FELT LIKE BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN TALK."

"OH, IM SORRY, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU LIED TO ME? HOW I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD? LIAM, WE HAD A FUNERAL FOR YOU. I LOST MY BIG BROTHER. CYRUS LOST HIS BOYFRIEND. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IM GOING TO GET OVER THAT?"

He stares at me, long and hard. Every sound seemed to silence. The screaming was done. The anger turned to regret and disappointment. He stands in front of me, and for a moment it feels like he's not my brother. But instead, a monster.

"Go fuck yourself." I say walking past him and grabbing my phone along the way.

I hear the crunching of leaves but not only from my feet. From his too. I wasn't mad that he was following me. Im just mad at him. Slowly but surely, I might be able to forgive him.

...

After 20 minutes of walking, we finally arrive at the bus stop. The destination said Wisconsin. I think back to the day i've had so far. It all happened so fast. I wake up in the same house as my supposedly dead brother, then suddenly i'm yelling at him like the world is about to end. Now I see why he never showed me those files. He didn't want me to meet Mom. The beautiful, young woman i was named after. The older version of me. The person I wish i'd never met. Or maybe he did? If he isn't actually dead, then what did I see back at the house? Why hadn't he just come back home? Why didn't he call? The rest of my life is going to be filled with whys and hows and whats. But what's important now, is that Liam is okay. The missing puzzle piece of my heart is filled. Im complete!

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WORD COUNT: 1286