Kashmir [BxB]

Chapter 23 - A spoonful of syrup makes the cigratte go down

You taken a liking to any of the characters yet? Well, there's bios of Kash, Kade, Esme, Nate, James and a newly published one for Dan in "Refernce Tool", available on my profile!

Esme's honking alerted me to her arrival, as per usual. I'd gone to bed with a sullen mood after dinner last night, and Nate had suggested we grab breakfast to cheer me up.

"IHOP sound good?"

"Perfect."

A short ride later and three orders of steaming pancakes later and my mood is starting to improve.

"You know how I got the main part in 'The Nutcracker'?"

"Yes, you've mentioned it."

Nate's sly smile made a smile emerge on my face. It'd been all Esme had talked about for weeks.

Rehearsals, costumes, sets, music, coloring her hair in a natural color, all and everything that could possibly be related to the show.

"We're doing a family and friends show before the real ones start up, so in like, two weeks. Would you come?"

"Of course we'll be there!", I assure her, knowing how important she finds it.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Esme didn't really dabble in showing sincere emotion very often, but every now and then we got one of those rare abashed smiles accompanied with an honest glimmer in her brown eyes. Now was one of those times.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me...", she states in a low voice, swirling her coffee before clearing her throat and letting her cutting edge look return. "Which reminds me - why are you sad and who's ass do I have to kick?"

"No one. It's just..."

"Kade?" 

Nates more than qualified guess receives a nod, and a pair of raised eyebrows from Esme.

"Again? You can't keep protecting him when he makes you feel like shit."

I bite my lip, weighing my words. No, I couldn't, and she was right. It wasn't healthy to overlook his bad sides just for the sake of nurturing whatever kind of relationship we were building. But yesterday had given me a piece to the puzzle that was Kade, and I think I was starting to understand a bit better.

"Do you know if Kade's family is religious?"

"I can't recall him mentioning it if that's the case. Why?"

"I just... I have a feeling. Because it's like he wants to be near me, and we flirt and it's all good, but then it's like something physically pulls him back. And yesterday,", I pause, surveying their unrevealing expressions, "I overheard his mum basically berating him for doing nothing wrong. I mean, of course it can just be poorly executed strict parenting, but the religion bit would explain why he always seems to stop himself when we get closer to each other."

The table remains quiet after my rant, not for lack of thought but for lack of knowledge of how to proceed without knowledge.

"So you think, like, internalized homophobia?", Nate starts, which prompts Esme to begin speaking as well.

"Or he's a dick who can't decide what he wants."

"Be kind, Esme.", Nate reminds her, trying to reign our spitfire in.

"I'm just saying. Maybe he's experimenting and doesn't know how to go about it. Have you defined your relationship?"

I sigh, poking my pancakes.