stained heart

wanting

WARNING: This chapter has mentions of alcoholic drinks and the use of cigarettes.

Me and Mavis finished eating the waffles a few minutes later. Honestly i was kind of embarrassed because of how i look right now. When i was with Luke he always shamed me for the clothes and makeup that i would where, telling me i have to look prettier. I don't know how i couldn't see how toxic he was. I groaned before grabbing my phone. Fuck.

77 messages from the rest of the group.

I groaned as Mavis looked over my shoulder to see what i was looking at. "Block them." She said annoyed. "Yeah.." I said trailing off. I clicked on the messages and was gonna see what they said. They all were calling me names. I decided to do what Mavis does and blocked them. I felt so relieved afterwards. "Well now you are officially part of the loners." Mavis said happily. I chuckled in return before opening my camera app. "God i look like ass." I said groaning. "You look nice dont worry about it." Mavis told me back. "That's a little gay." Jay said in return laughing. "Oh shut up." Mavis said rolling her eyes and threw a pillow at him that he managed to catch. I giggled in return looking at the two. "Okay so what do you guys want to do." Mavis asked. "Yo momma." Jay said in return with the dorkiest laugh. "You are so unfunny." Mavis said laughing. "There's that party tonight." I said looking at my phone. "And the teachers allowed that?" Jay asked surprised. I scrolled a bit before answering again. "Nah but they don't know do you guys wanna go?" I asked. I see Mavis and Jay gives each other glances. "Yeah sure i guess, wouldn't it be so fun to dress up and do our makeup together?" Mavis asked excitingly. "Look i'm exited because i can't do it with Jay." She said disappointed. "Hm sure, it's in four hours so let's watch a movie." I suggested and they all agreed, we scrolled thru a few movies until we picked some random movie. We started the movie on my laptop, it started with these two girls that were friends but i guess that escalated quickly because a second later they were making out. I looked back over to Mavis who seemed to be enjoying it. "That's gonna be me with your mom Jay." Mavis said laughing with him. I chucked in response looking back. Does this really happen in real life? I wish it was this normal because it's so hard watching this, knowing i can't have it.

Or can i?

I was trying to act normal watching this but i keep looking at Amber to see her reaction, i can read what people are feeling well so i tried to read her expression and she seems off. Not that she's disgusted or uncomfortable, this is gonna be odd but she seems okay with it. I know she's straight and that hurts so much because i know she'll never feel the same way about me.

The movie finally ended and it was time to get ready. Jay said he'll change first in the bathroom then we can change together in the bedroom. I tried to tell him that it was a bad idea but he winked at me before going go the bathroom. Amber started looking through her clothes and found a red dress. It was stunning. "I don't have any dresses ugh." I groaned looking through my things. But then a smirk came across my face as i pulled a black and maroon suit out. "This will do." I said with a grin on my face. I see her eyes widen as she looks at it but she doesn't say anything except agree. Fuck now it's time to change. "Uhm so.." I started. "Your not scared of changing infront of me are you?" She asked me with a smirk. "Im joking let's just turn around." She said again. I could feel a blush crawling up my neck but i ignored it. We both turned around and started changing. I wonder what would happen if i just- no don't be a creep Mavis. I stopped my weird thinking as i finished changing. "You done?" I asked her. "Yeah." She answered. We turned around and my jaw dropped but so did hers. "You look.. hot." She murmured. "Did you just call me hot?" I asked with a smirk. I have to admit, i can be shy at times but i can also be a little bitch. "Shut up." She said rolling her eyes with laughter. I just chuckled before a second later Jay came out. "Damn okay Mavis way to steal the spotlight from me." Jay said annoyed. "You look fine douse bag." I said in return. Me and Amber went to the bathroom to do our makeup. I got out my things, simple eyeliner, contour nose, highlighter with some nude/ pink lipstick. I looked over to Amber and she looked so fucking hot.

I was doing my makeup, foundation, red smokey eye, eyeliner, fake eyelashes, lipstick and all the rest. Yes i know i'm going over the top but last night i felt like shit and i didn't want to feel like that tonight so i'm making sure i look hot. I could feel Mavis staring at me thru the mirror which planted a smirk on my face. About thirty minutes later we were both done. "I mean damn we both look hot." I said laughing with her. I picked up my phone and swiped thru the camera app. "Pic?" I asked and she nodded before posing for it. Suddenly Jay came in the bathroom. "Taking pics without me? You should he ashamed." He said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes before taking another picture with the two. "What's your insta?" I asked Jay to make sure to tag him. "Oh uhm." He said before grabbing my phone and typing something in. I raised my brow before looking at the username he types. "Yourmomsnumberonehoe, really?" I asked him laughing. He just rubbed the back of his neck as i tagged Mavis and posted it. A day ago i deleted the rest of my posts so this will be my only one but i'm okay with that. I closed my phone as we started grabbing our things to go.