tw: sexual fantasies, internalized homophobia
when i see you smile
the world around me becomes calming and perfect
every word of yours
i cling onto it like it's a lifeline
i talk to you, more and more
hoping you'll respond
your sweet voice
makes every bone in my body relax
i want you to grab me by the shoulders
let you fuck me into the sheets till dawn
i want you to do whatever you want to me
rail me so hard my throat hurts from screaming your name
but i'm not supposed to feel that way
you're a boy
and so am i
it's not normal, is it?
the way they say it?
"where are those girls normal boys would love? where are those posters of those hot girls normal boys would put up in their rooms?"
that's not right, is it?
as dawn breaks
i close the curtains
lay down to sleep
and try not to think of it.
the room darkens in a trice as i close my eyes.
i try to sleep
because i know
when i wake up
the feelings will be gone by morning
but this time
i'm not sure
(a/n ok ok ok!!! i'm finally up with another chapter! snsbsnsbs i'm finally writing about a ship that is the reason why this story was created. this was drawn on memories with my online crush, they're a girl(and i'm also a girl) technically(if you don't count what we identify as) and i'm absolutely smitten especially i was on a live stream with them and they called me cute quite a lot of times, told me that they hoped i had a good rest and said to me that they love me(not sure if they meant it in that way though because they don't know that i have a crush on them). in the end i decided to let the feelings continue and enjoy being in love. for all my readers out there i personally feel that it's important to accept your feelings for someone no matter their gender and accepting yourself is of paramount importance (especially if you're part of the lgbtq+ community). i may make this into a talk time session tomorrow. meanwhile, have a good rest everyone and be sure to take care of yourselves!! i love you all! -saebyeok)
YOU ARE READING
itoshika month (shikatani x itome)
Fanfichello all my lovely readers! december has always struck me as a cozy comfy time of the year, so i wanted to write about a ship that suits that time of the year. so...this will be a book full of fluff. thank you for dropping by! -hu tao
