itoshika month (shikatani x itome)

december 25: akemi x itome-labels(angst) + merry christmas!!

that was the very first rule put down when they started dating.
itome didn't know why he had accepted akemi's confession. he supposed it was the excitement, the honour of having what people labelled as a "significant other", "boyfriend", "partner", "soulmate", "one and only", call it what you will, it had to do with someone that you truly loved, someone you would be committed to stay with forever.
itome certainly wasn't akemi's boyfriend, then.
shortly after, the novelty of having a "boyfriend" wore off. the hushed whispers, the admiring stares, the thousands of pairs of eyes that were nailing down akemi and itome when they sailed into class, hand in hand, was all proved to be empty.
but the false relationship was comforting in a way. the sex they had as a couple was comforting. the pet names were comforting. the feeling of being loved by someone else was comforting. the adoration was comforting. it was twisted, really.
itome wanted someone to love. he wanted to be loved for once in his screwed up life.
sometimes he lay in bed at night sleeping over at akemi's house and hoped for something to magically happen. akemi would just magically announce their breakup. of course he would. he was the only one who had the fucking guts to do it. why wouldn't he? both men didn't love each other. they could've hated each other, for all they cared. it would make no difference from their current situation. no conversation passed by except for a light smile that held little more than a touch of pretence, or the occasional peck, or the free porno when they chilled out together in the photography club room or the dorms when all the rest of the horny teens had left.
quality "couple goals".
yes, that was right. absolutely correct. they hated each other. they didn't care a bit for each other, didn't give a single fuck for each other's wellbeing. one of them could go commit suicide and jump into a pool of burning acid all he wanted for all the other cared. they didn't know each other, didn't bother to take the time and trouble to do it. "it's a waste of my energy and time," akemi would say. "it's precious, you know. it runs out. and quickly so. so don't bother me with trivial matters like this."
it didn't matter anyway. not like itome wanted it to matter. he didn't want the personal details of his life to matter to akemi. to anyone for that matter. he could spend his life guarding his precious life secrets for all anyone cared.
sometimes friends, the thugs from itome's class, or the slender feminine cross dresser from their club with the purple hair and silver glasses would come and drop by to visit. it was really just some fancy word for looking at them, try to guess who was faker, who was going to announce their breakup, who was going to break down first and pretend to chat and care about their crumbling relationship.
itome didn't care about the guys at class trying to talk him out of the relationship. he didn't care about the empty visits. didn't give no fuck about all the thugs and motherfuckers visiting him. didn't care about the pretty purple haired cross dresser who constantly dropped by to look at them, chat and pretend that all the problems in akemi and itome's relationship wasn't there. pretend that everything was fine and dandy, all rainbows and daisies. itome didn't remember his "friends" names. he didn't remember the cross dresser's name. he didn't want to remember anyway, didn't make an effort to. they weren't deserving of it. just pretend that their relationship wasn't crumbling. pretend that all the cracks in their relationship wasn't there. pretend the late night quarrels and silent angry fits were never present, never existed anyway, never took place. that's what life was all about, wasn't it? pretence?
sometimes when itome pretended the fights weren't there, he would make up faux stories to explain the current situation to trick his brain, just like how he was tricking all his other friends. all the club mates. he pretended that the vase had been broken that night after the quarrel because akemi had accidentally dropped it when he wanted to place some flowers in it for itome, not because he had thrown it against the walls in anger and shattered it, shattering their already dying relationship along with the vase.
it worked. his little trick worked.
itome only stayed for the label, after all.
(a/n i was listening to "lonesome town" by ricky nelson while writing this. i think that it really suits akemi and itome's relationship! i think i might write a song fic about it tomorrow. anyway, that's all for today. merry christmas! goodnight :)) -saebyeok)