TROUBLE, mcu

mental breakdowns, reunions, and widows

Budapest. 2016

(Warning: sonya has a slight mental breakdown)

Sonya and Yelena were currently waiting for natasha to send something. Yelena was currently questioning sonya about her sister, whom sonya didn't know, while they waited for her in her old apartment.

"Do you think she'll remember me? Will she like my vest? What if she comes?" Yelena was rambling.

"Yes, she'll remember you, yes, I think she will like your vest, and I don't know." Sonya mumbled the last part. Yelena stopped and looked at her.

She was currently lying down on the couch, fiddling with her knife. She seemed to be not fully listening to yelena, but was in deep with her thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Sonya looked at her dumbfounded and went into a sitting position on the couch.

  "We just left a place I've been stuck at since birth. I don't even know how long you've been there. We don't know how to do things other than attacking or killing. How am I supposed to feel," Sonya took a deep breathe before realizing, "I don't even know how to feel these feelings!"

Yelena crouched down to her and grabbed her knees so Sonya didn't.

"You'll be able to try new things now. I promise you, we're free. We can do anything we want now." Yelena whispered. Sonya smiled before frowning again.

  "What about the other girls?" Yelena looked down, before standing to sit next to her.

"We'll figure something out. Just take a breathe, okay? Go wash up."

Sonya didn't even realize she was starting to tear up. She nodded and walked into the bathroom.

She grabbed a rag and put it under the sink. She turned the faucet on and let the rag get completely soaked before turning the faucet off.

She put the rag and wiped her face with it, getting the small scars she had on her face and neck. Once she was done, she put the rag back into the sink and looked at herself in the mirror.

Her eyes had very noticeable bags under them. She felt exhausted. She saw the scars on her face. She felt she looked like a monster with them.

She felt like she is trouble.

Not the fun kind, but the one you'd be terrified of. Like when Ultron attacked Sokovia. Sonya feels like she didn't deserve a second chance after what she had done.

She knew that Dreykov had been controlling and forcing her to do things, but she still felt that disappointment in herself.

Why didn't she fight back?

She looked down before looking again at herself. She cried out as she smashed the mirror in anger and resentfulness against herself.

She never wanted this to be her life.

The glass shattered under her hand while she took a shaky breathes to regain herself. Once she mostly regained herself, she wiped her hands with the rag.

"I know you're out there." She heard Yelena say. She must've been talking to Natasha.

Shit. Sonya thought, looking at the broken glass. She looked around and saw a small trashcan filled with old arrows. Sonya was confused as to why there was but she wouldn't question it.

She heard commotion but she didn't have the effort to join. She knew Yelena could handle herself.

She used the wet rag and carefully moved the shards of glass in to the trashcan. Then she took a deep breathe before opening the door.