Red vs blue and purple

Room for rent

The camera pans to the right to show the Blues.

Tucker: Well Tex, that was a great story. I especially liked the part about Church getting pants'd in high school.

Church glares at Tex for mentioning that.

Church: (cut to ghost Church standing next to Tucker) I found that part to be entirely out of context.

Tucker: (cut back to Tucker) But I still don't get how we're supposed to stop the AI.

Tex: (cut to Tex in Lopez's body in front of Sheila) I don't remember much from (a black and white flashback of a laboratory fades in) the implantation process. I do remember that the AI can be transmitted from host to host by way of the helmet radios. Before I learned anything else, the AI took over and we escaped. (fades back to present) If we can kill the AI and not give it a place to jump, we'll beat it.

Church: And then I can have my body back. Deal?

Tex: Deal.

Church: Alright. Tex and I will possess Caboose then. Tucker, we need you to work on the Reds. Get 'em to turn off their helmet radios so that O'Malley won't have anywhere to go once we get him out of there.

Tex: Right.

Tucker: What?! How the hell am I gonna do that?

Church: I don't know. Come up with a plan.

Tucker: Come on, you know how I feel about plans.

Tex: You're not gonna have much time once we get in there, so move fast.

Tucker: Oh, I see. You have no idea what I should do or how I should do it, but whatever I do I should do it fast?

Church: Yeah, that's right.

Tex: Yep.

Tucker: Wow, you guys are a lot of help.

Church: Try shifting your paradigm. Think outside the box.

Tucker: Hey, the box is there for a reason. I like thinking inside of it. I feel safe in there.

Church: Okay, Tex, ladies first.

Tex laughs knowing full well of what he'll do.

Tex: Yeah right! You think I'm gonna leave you alone out here with your body?

Church: (mumbling) Bitch...

Tex: Nice try, Leonard.

Church looks at Caboose.

Church: Hey, Caboose!

Caboose: (stands up and turns around) Huh?

Church: Heads up!

Church runs into Caboose to possess him. Tex leaves Lopez and does the same.

O'Malley: Noooo...!

Zooms in on Caboose's visor and flashes to white. Fades in to reveal a large, gray room with walkways and large pylons coming out of the ground. Cut to Church in white armor and Tex in black armor, both are no longer transparent. Church looks at Tex.

Church: Where are we?

Tex: We're inside Caboose's mind. Now we just have to find O'Malley and kill him.

Church: Man, this is kinda weird.

Tex: It's hard to get used to, I know.

Church shakes his head as he looks around.

Church: No, it's not that. (fades to outside of Caboose's mind) It's just that this place is a whole lot bigger than I thought it was gonna be.

Tucker: (walks up to Caboose) Caboose, are you okay, buddy?

Caboose: (repeating what Church said) This place is a lot bigger than I thought it would be.

Tucker raises an eyebrow at this.

Tucker: O-kay. I'm gonna take Sheila and Lopez and figure out some way to get the Reds to shut off their radios.

Caboose: Where should we start, Tex?

Tucker: What?

Fades back to inside Caboose's head.

Church: I said where should we start, Tex?

Tex: Just keep your eyes peeled. (Tucker comes up behind Tex) I guarantee (Church spots Tucker) O'Malley will come looking for us.

Church: Hey, Tucker! Is that you?

Tucker looks at him confused.

Tucker: No. What're you? Stupid? Oh, wait. Yes, I am me. I guess I'm stupid.

Church: What're you doing in here? You're supposed to be out there working on your part of the plan!

Tucker: Do you have any food? I love to eat all the food.

Church: What the hell? What's the matter with you?

Tex looks at Church.

Tex: This isn't really Tucker. We're in Caboose's head. This is Caboose's mental image of Tucker.

Tucker: Man, I am so unbelievably stupid!

Church: Well, that's great, everyone we meet in here is bound to be as brain dead as Caboose, then.

Caboose approaches from behind with a smile, sounding smart.

Caboose: I would not be so sure about that, Mister Church.

Cut to the Reds. Grif, Sabine and Sarge are inside the base going over the operation for Simmons.

Grif: Great idea, sir. I finally agree with you.

Sabine: I think it's a little weird.

Donut: (walks up to Sarge, Sabine and Grif) Hey, guys. We might have a problem here. Somebody, and I'm not gonna say who, might've thought that one of the cyborg parts we need for Simmons' surgery was a cupholder. And somebody, not naming any names here, might've left it, along with their favorite smooth jazz compilation CD, in the Warthog. I just don't know who would do such a thing.

Sabine looks at him with her arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

Sabine: Was it you?

Donut: Yeah.. uh, no! (clears throat) I mean, NO. ...Dammit.

Sarge: Grif, you and Easy Listening stroll on down and retrieve that part from the Warthog. Post Haste!

Grif looks at Sarge a little worried about his safety going outside.

Grif: Sir, do you think it's safe to be outside the base right now? For all we know the Blues could've already fixed their tank. They could be advancing on us as we speak.

Sarge: Ahh, corny dogs! Even with Lopez helping 'em, it'll take them months to get that tank online, much less to get it movin' again.

Donut: I hope you're right, because if I see that tank headed towards me, I'm totally gonna freak out.

Sabine: Don't say that, it might actually happen.

Camera zooms across the canyon to Tucker, Sheila, and Lopez. Tucker driving Sheila and Lopez running.

Tucker: Man, I sure hope they don't totally freak out when they see us coming.