Camera turns toward the sun, and then pans to the cave in which Doc is located. Vic of Blue Command talks in a static voice.
Vic: Hello, dude, come in. Doctor dude, are you there? Hello. Paging doctor dude to the radio, stat! I need twenty CCs of what the hell's going on there dude.
Doc walks out from behind a rock in the cave, holding his head groaning.
Doc: Ugh. What happened?
Vic: Hey, you tell me dude. One minute we're talking about a hole in the wall, the next thing I know you turn into Grumps McGurt. Sounded like you needed a lozenge. Threatened to eat my children. Not very cool, dude.
Doc: Geez, did I really? I'm sorry, something went wrong with my radio, and I heard this weird beeping, honking-
Vic: Hey, no offense taken, dude. Don't got any kids anyway.
Doc: What?
Vic: Old Vic's been through the snip and stitch.
Doc: I don't-
Vic: If you know what I mean.
Doc: I don't wanna hear about that.
Vic: Winky-Blinky the one eyed Sergeant's firing blanks.
Doc: That's weird.
Vic: If you get me.
Doc: Look-
Vic: Vaya Con Dios of the Vas Deferens.
Doc: Yeah alright, I, enough, I get you.
Vic: I mean a vasectomy, dude.
Doc: Look, I found something really weird here at Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.
Vic: Roger that. What did you find?
Doc: It's... it's like a... it's like a thing.
Vic: It's like a thing. Okay, dude. Thank you for the update. I'll be sure to alert the Chief of Staff...
Doc: Sorry...
Vic: Move to Defcon 1.
Doc: I'm just a little dazed. It's a big thing. It-it's purple. It's uh, it's a big purple thing.
Vic: Use your words, dude.
Doc: Look, I don't know. It looks like some kinda alien artifact. Do the aliens have like a home base or something here?
Vic: I don't know, dude. Why don't I just consult my Extra Terrestrial Travel Guide for ya. Oh look! Got a great series of alien bed and breakfasts there.
Doc sighs.
Vic: Lucky you.
Doc: Never mind. I'll just figure it out myself.
Vic: Nothin' about big purple things, though. Maybe it's some kind of alien vehicle.
The radio transmission ends.
Doc: Man, that guy is such a jerk. The next time he talks to me like that, I'm gonna tell him to go straight to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. Oh, I really shouldn't talk like that, that's not very nice.
O'Malley/Doc: If I ever meet him, I'm taking his eyes as souvenirs.
Doc gets startled by that and jumps a little.
Doc: Whoa, that was unlike me. I must be stressed out. Time for yoga!
Doc sits down, doing yoga and the camera goes to Church and Tucker outside the blue base.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue and purple
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