Polaroids

14|Capsized

"i love you, Emma" he adds, stretching his hand out for the hazel eyes dirty blonde standing behind me.

I Stand there, my body Stiff, breathing hitched, and eyes fixated on one spot.

The eyes of the boy I thought love me.

He smiles as she walks towards him, each step she takes echoing deep into my internal being.

Ofcourse he loved her -OFCOURSE!

How could I be so blind?

So easily deceived?

So fucking clueless?

He smiles at her as she stands infront of him, my paled self in her shadow as always. At that moment, I thought nothing in this world could possibly compare to how I felt..

But then, she puts her hand in his and steps closer.

"I love you too Josh" she says.

My entire world freezes in time at her words.

What did she say? My inner voice asks Asif unable to digest the information.

"I love you too, Josh" her voice rang over and over in my head until I felt Asif I was dizzy.

The whole class bursts into applause and I could see an unexplainable happiness in both their eyes.

I wanted to scream at that point. Or better yet cry, but no emotion seemed to manifest itself.

I watch in horror as my best friend takes the hand of the boy I loved and kisses him right infront of everyone.

Infront of the people the entire school...

Infront of our friends...

But worst of all, infront of me..

I felt a deep pain in my chest asif a knife had pierced right through the layers of my skin, through my flesh, and deep into my heart as the tip punctures my soul.

My legs unconsciously stagger backwards, as I almost trip over the stairs of the stage. I ran as fast as my legs could take me, but the shock and hurt I felt slowed my movement.

"Kather-" Teresa begins as I pass by her. I ignore her and go straight for the door. I wanted nothing more than to dissapear or for the ground to open and swallow me up, anything that would get me out of the mix of emotions I felt and the shame I just went through.

I get outside and ran into the freezing cold, I see Emma's car and without thinking I take the keys from her purse and drive away from my misery.

The smell of her perfume seeps into my nostrils. A fragrance i usually enjoy was doing nothing but choking me. I looked at the rear view mirror and catch my glossy blue orbs in it's reflection, the color reminded me of Joshua's, and the memory of him taking her into his arms flashes through my mind.

"I love you....Emma Clark"

"I love you too, Josh"

The sentences rang in my mind and I press my eyes shut bringing the car to a screeching halt.

As I sit there in the silence of the vehicle I feel my body vibrate internally in anger.

"Damn it!" I yell banging the steering wheel. "Damn it all, damn all of you to bloody hell!" I yell pressing my hands against the sides of my head holding clamps of my hair in my fist.

That was it, the shock had quickly turned to anger. I get out of the car and leave it in the middle of the road,I didn't care whether or not if it were emmas car I just left behind, Josh would probably take her anyways. I signal for a taxi to stop and luckily one does.

The entire ride I stayed silent and the constant thinking made me more and more angry.

Eventually I arrive home and I pay the driver off. Staring at the building i allow the light feathers of snow ascend on my form. To think, I woke up today happily, not knowing the two people I thought I loved would stab me in the back.

I walk up to the house and silently trail up the stairs. By silently I meant I was too numb to even make a noise.

Walking down the hall I notice my room door is already open, and to my disgust I see the form of the person I'd least wanted to see.

He rests his body on a desk by my window, his eyes gazing fondly at a picture frame In his hand.

"Well you're home early" he says with a smirk and his eyes meet mine. I feel my teeth grind onto each other and my fist ball in annoyance.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I say in a lethal tone.

"Woah calm down, your door was opening so I was just exploring" he says lackadaisically and I watch him pick up more and more frames Asif the room belonged to him.

"Get out" I say not quite yelling.

"You know your friend is pretty damn hot, if you just turned eighteen she shouldn't be a minor either right?" He asks ignoring my words.

"Just look at that face and oh my God that body, when I saw her at the door I was like wow" he says. I walk over and grab the frame. My heart hurts once again seeing the picture of me and my supposed best friend at a camp last year.

"You know if you weren't here I'd go for her" he says ruffling his hair.

"Get out Damien" I say, I start to feel my hands press down on the picture in my hand.

"See that's the tone that just turns me off, I bet Emma wouldn't talk to me like that" he replies.

"Leave Damien" I say refusing to look at him. I feel my grip harden even more.

"You know what screw this, you're not even half as good as her so just give me her number and let me move on to someone bett-"

Before he could go on, I send the frame flying straight to his head, missing it by inches as it shatters on the wall.

"What the hell Katherine!?" He yells as he darts away from the flying object.

"I said out! Get out!!" I yell at the top of my lungs, hot tears start to trickle down my face as I bang the door in his face.

Locking the door I run my hands through my hair and pace from one end of the room to the other. At this point I didn't know what I was feeling.

Was it anger? Jelousy? Sadness?...

And then it came to me, I knew exactly what I felt.

I was fed up...

Fed up of that school, this family, boys in general, but most of all I was fed up of being the second choice to Emma every single time.

The whole school called me her shadow, her slave, some follower or lap dog, but somehow she always found a way to make me feel okay about it and make me not to care. But today there was nothing in the world that would make me think otherwise and for that I was fed up.

I felt the veins in my head pulsate in anger and all I could see was red. My best friend had completely broken my trust and there was no going back from that point.

I didn't ever want to talk to her or anyone for a matter of fact ever again.

I was angry and just tired

For the first time in a long time I had felt like there was some sort of hope of love and happiness in my life, like I was on some sort of boat carefully but surely sailing to an island of where everything would finally go my way.

But sadly, today, on my eighteenth birthday, that boat had capsized.