The Lies of the Moon

10

The teens walked into the faire and bought the necessities. Jonas and Poppi paired up so that left Fiona and Tommy.

The groups went from ride to games to more rides and so on. Fiona had forgotten momentarily about anything. Laughter filled her shallow chest as time ticked. The teens pulled to a table sitting down resting their legs.

"Okay, food time!" Poppi announced, grabbing her wallet. Jonas slapped her hand and stood up.

"I know what you want," Jonas said referencing Tommy and Poppi, "Fiona wanna come with me to look at the options?"

Fiona darted her eyes away. "Uh, I'll just have a bottle of water. I'm not hungry, but thanks though." She said adding her most convincing smile.

There you go again, Fiona. Not taking care of yourself. At least the brain demons are happy, right? Why won't you just satisfy yourself? Can't mask that part?

Jonas nodded, walking off. Poppi stood up walking next to Fiona, patting her on the shoulder then running after Jonas. Fiona and Tommy sat at the table he smiled at her. Fiona smiled back.

"It must be thought having to process this total change. Like if I just found I had a brother, let alone a twin brother I'd probably lay in my room and cry for hours. It's impeccable how strong you are about this, you know that right?" Tommy said in an attempt to validate her.

"The skin and smile is a barrier to the inside," Fiona whispered. Tommy didn't hear what she said, he went to go ask what she said, but she picked up her head and said, "Thanks I appreciate it."

Masking again, why does she do this. Fiona just wants to feel normal. Make everything stop. Even before Ashlyn died, Fiona spent countless nights in her room crying. Not sobbing; just tears silently slipping to her cheeks.

This internal wall, sometimes shielded her from the world, again. Fiona dug her nails into her thighs and bit her lip. Tears welled to her eyes, but she ignored it. She stood up and kept her glance down.

"I need to use the restroom, I'll be back," She whispered to Tommy. She sped off into the distance.

Silent tears. Thats what met her cheeks. She sat in the back of the stall, pressing her hands to her ears. Silence. Stop it all. She kept pressing her hands to her ears, it didn't help. It was too loud.

The pounding of her heart swarmed her mind. Every negative thing she thought about herself, just swarmed. The demons were out of their cage. She just wants freedom from it all. Fiona doesn't want to feel like this anymore. She doesn't want this. A sob escaped Fiona's mouth.

"Please make it stop," she whispered. Her head was inbetween her knees. She held herself closer and closer. She was crumbling under the weight. The weight of life. The weight of her menal illness crushing her. Just make it stop.

Various cusses came twoards the stall she inclosed herself in. Older women wanting to just use the bathroom. Why would they understand her? Why would they respect her mental breakage. Just leave her be, Karens. Thats all she wanted.

Fiona took a few deep breaths to try and calm her breathing. She finally released herself from the small inclosement. Her legs felt heavy and numb. As if she couldn't move. Trying to get awarness of her settings. She noticed herself in the small mirror. She looked horrible. Not physically horrible. Mentally.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was in her work ponytail. Tears fell freely down her face. She touched the logo on her work uniform. Tears fell faster. She's letting go.

Fiona opened the medication cabinet above her. She looked at the three bottles of painkillers. They were supposed to be for her periods. She sighed and grasped two of them, shutting the cabinet. She opened the cap on the first one and swallowed back 100s of tiny tablets. She squinted her eyes to the rancid taste. Instantly the tears stopped and numbness surrounded her. She popped the second cap and gagged down the rest. Numbing everything completely.

Fiona walked to her motorbike and quickly started it. The medication worked too quickly. She nearly crashed her bike onto her way to work. She parked her pike in her spot.

The sign allured her blurred vison. Cat's O'clock: Cat Veterinary Services. She smiled at the sign, knowing she was going to die here. Surrounded by sweet innocent kittens. She looked at her reflection in the glass.

Fiona didn't want to go back there. Not to that place. She couldn't. She can't. It doesn't matter how bad it gets. Never go back there. That day, that moment, that attempt on her life haunts her. Fiona quickly stood up and adjusted her makeup. She forced her fake smile and left the stall. Various people starred at her, but she ignored it.

Fiona walked quickly back to the table. The others had returned and they looked at her. She thought she was good at making her red puffy eyes. Though she was wrong.

"Ya' good over there?" Jonas asked. Fiona nodded, taking the water from his hands.

"Yeah, thanks," She said smiling. She looked at the night sky setting before her. She loved the night sky.

"You look, I don't know how to word it, high?" Poppi said. Fiona snorted.

"Please, like I'd ever do drugs." Fiona said. They all looked at her. She shook her head in disbelief. She grabbed her wallet from her pocket and threw it at her.

"You can check it for drugs if you don't believe me." She said. Jonas grabbed it from Poppi and went to unzip it.

"You all are a bunch of fucktards. I'm out of here," Fiona said snatching her wallet storming off. They all looked frozen. Fiona kept walking. Not looking back.

She couldn't believe them. Not even one day. Not even a full twenty-four hours and they were aleady making assumptions about her. Fiona was a lot of things, but she sure as hell didn't do drugs.