The Lies of the Moon

13

"You know it's quite dangerous to sit on the windowsill right?" Jonas said, walking into Fiona's room. She didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"I know," She mumbled. Fiona combed her hair closer to her face.

"Then why are you doing it?" He asked her, in a laughing tone.

"Living life on the edge, Rat. That's what I intend to do."

"Dude, maybe you should get down before you fall." He said with concern.

"I've been up here for an hour and a half, Jonas. I'm not going to fall unless I fall asleep." Fiona said.

"Oh," Jonas whispered. "So are you excited for the start of classes?" He spoke in a friendly tone.

"No."

"Wow, that was quite direct."

"I haven't liked school since I went to high school in a small town. Imagine this massive town?" Fiona turned her head back slightly to Jonas. He walked closer to her and stood next to her.

"It's not that bad," He said. Fiona raised her eyebrows and shook her head in disbelief. "It's not! I don't know what kind of classes you take, whether advanced, regular, or special education, it's all adaptive."

"Wow, you all really have to label education around here? That's so stupid. It's not a kind of class, it's how you learn." Fiona snapped.

"Woah, I'm not your enemy here alright?" Jonas said. Fiona sighed.

"I know, it's just stupid how school systems are now, you know? That's not the point of what you were trying to say."

"Fairpointe High isn't that bad. Sure, a lot of people suck, but it's not like Ryla is still there." Jonas said. Fiona's heart sunk. She knew his comment wasn't a personal dig.

"Yeah," Fiona whispered. Jonas continued to smile, unaware of his accidental damage.

"I'm gonna head off to Poppi. Night' Fi" He said. Fiona just nodded and focused back on the stars.

As he shut her door, she broke. Tears fell down her face and her breath quickened. She latched onto the windowsill for dear life. Her body was shaking. She let a sob break from her lips. Her body shook in fear. Her mind couldn't give her a break. Just as she saw a glimmer of brighter days, she was stuck feeling hopeless. As if she would never break free from this spiral.

Fiona jumped down from the windowsill and layed on the floor letting the darkness of her mind swarm her. Tears escaped down to her face, more, more, more, and more. She couldn't focus on anything around her until her mind drifted into thinking of a memory.

Fiona sat in the hospital bed, with Marie next to her holding her hand. Marie never questioned why Fiona just had attempted suicide but was there to comfort her.

"Why don't you take a break for a while? Stop running for a bit and just relax, okay?" Marie said to her as she was yanking her IV out of her arm, grabbing her things. It had been three days and she hadn't heard from anyone. Including her mother.

"I can't take a break, Marie. Cus' if I do, I won't be able to get up again. You see what happened here, what happened now was because I had taken a break from fighting, and hey! I'm no longer pregnant with a rapist's baby! I'm a murderer and a coward, I don't deserve a break. Or to live for that matter." She said, not even shedding a tear. Marie looked at her confused.

"I'm sorry, but I can't have you working until I know you're safe," Marie said, lowering the tone of her voice.

"So you're firing me? Wonderful. I'm sorry I'm not perfect!" Fiona screamed. She walked out the door, not looking behind her.

The memory itself made her cringe. She hadn't spoken to Marie since. She wasn't mad at her, exactly. She was madder at herself. With a burst of motivation, she found her phone and pulled up Marie's contact. Pressing the message icon, Fiona froze for a moment.

"What would I even say to her?" Fiona whispered to herself. The name burned into her eyes before she opened the message room.

I guess I owe you an apology. A really late one.

Fiona waited for Marie to see her message, or respond. Nervously, she laid down on her mattress.

For what?

Marie responded too quickly Fiona pondered.

Being an asshole to you. Just when you were trying to help. I'm such a shithead, I'm sorry.

You don't owe me shit, kid. You've busted your ass since you were 13 helping me. It is my turn to help you. It doesn't matter how long it takes. You wanna meet up tomorrow to talk?

I'm not in Remington anymore, Marie. I moved with my father.

Good for you, Fiona. You needed to get the hell away from here.

I can call you tomorrow (If you can figure out video calls old lady :P) and I can talk to you. You have every right to know what happened. More than most people.

I can figure them out very easily, young lady. I'm 71 not stupid. I'd love to hear from you, sweetie. Just dial me before the shop opens. You know the time.

It's a deal, grandma. :P How's Road? Did he get adopted yet?

Sadly no, he's the last of his litter. He really does miss you though.

Maybe I'll come back and visit him soon. Talk to you tomorrow. :)

Goodnight, sweetheart.

Fiona smiled at her phone, before crashing into the mattress. She relaxed to the surface, trying to feel relaxed.

She turned on her music and just relaxed. The beat swoalled her fragile soul. Everything danced away from her. Fiona smiled as the lyrics played.

It was foolish to think that you cared
Now I'm the queen in my own ashes
Ashes
Because you never cared, it's my own ashes.
My own fire im building up

The lyrics bruned to her anger about Jayden. Something else angered her, and she isn't sure what it was. Yet.