The Lies of the Moon

9

As the group headed in the car Fiona sat in the backseat next to Tommy. It was silent. Poppi turned to Fiona and smiled. A buzz of awkwardness chilled Fiona's bones. She smiled back and fiddled for her earbuds, putting them in her ears.

An orginal peice she wrote played in her ears. It was more of a secret that she never told. Her music had a few views online, but not much. She was secretive about it.

My mind feels stuck.

Fiona hummed to the beat, not paying attention to the others. She did notice Tommy looking at her.

My thoughts are too much.
It's making me sick.
I just wanna live.

"Hey who are you listening too?" Tommy asked curiously. Fiona flinced, frightened. She put her hands above her head. She realized it was just Tommy, and relaxed. "I wasn't gonna hit you, bro."

"Sorry, you, uh, startled me." Fiona said, slowing her words down. Tommy laughed.

"No worries," He paused for a moment, "M'lady."

But when I keep trying to get better
I fall back under the weather
And again I feel stuck,
Lost in my mind
I've had enough, oh,
I've had enough

If someone we're too look me in the eyes
And if They ask if I'm okay
I don't know if the surface would break
Because theres a sea of secrets
A sea doubt
That I'm drowning in
So again I'm stuck in a familar situation
Where my mind is screaming
Its begging for someone to save me
But I've had enough
Oh, just enough

I've had enough of my mind rotting
I've had enough of the sleepless nights
I've had enough of doubting
I've had enough
Just enough.

The lyrics speak a private message Fiona never shared with anyone. Ashlynn wouldn't support the type of music she draws. She would tell her to not be depressed, or that she was telling her to not speak about it.

Fiona sat in the back seat the leather comforting her skin. Laughter and frequent cracks of jokes distributed between the others. Fiona realized she was isolating herself from her family. She tugged her earbuds out and laid them acoss her legs.

Tommy noticed and grabbed her by the neck and playfully started rubbing her head. Fiona yelped and started laughing.

"Stop it, please!" Fiona begged, not able to contain her laughter. Jonas and Poppi we're also laughing.

"Welcome back to the clan!" Tommy said releasing her. Fiona pushed off him and punched him in the leg, hard.

"Don't do that!" Fiona cried out. Jonas and Poppi were still laughing. Fiona looked outside the window and the flashing lights of an ambulance sent her.

"Fiona, please just tell me what you took," Marie, Fiona's boss begged. Fiona laid on the stretcher and the poked her with various needles.

"I'm fine," Fiona said, but it was a barley audible whisper. "I don't wanna tell her, Marie. I wanna go." High mannered Fiona slipped.

Marie was sobbing at the teenager. She was fully concerned for her. What had been done to the sweet child that always had something positive to say. Marie gripped her hand tighter. The ambulance lights and sirens flickered.

"Fiona, please!" Marie yelled, begging.

Fiona cracked. Tears poured down her cheeks and she pressed her empty hand to her stomach slightly. "A bottle of painkillers. I'm sorry. Please, help me, Marie."

Fiona had fell unconscious after that. Marie clung onto her hand harder. She had done the right thing. Right?

Fiona looked like a deer in headlights to the sound. The lights flickered through her mind. She didn't want to remember that memory right now. She pressed her hands around her ribs and focused on the ground before her.

"Yo, Fifi!" Jonas joked.

"Don't ever call me that again," Fiona warned. Everyone froze.

Everyone saw her as a shy fun girl. Yeah she had some anxiety about her, but nobody judged. The moment she raised her tone everyone lost it. They lost their words. Execpt for Fiona.

"I'm not joking." Fiona said. She glared at him angled slightly away. Jonas sighed and looked at Poppi. Tommy looked at Jonas and back at Fiona.

"Anyways," Fiona said, "what did you want?"

Jonas half smiled. He hadn't ruined anything like he was afraid. Though it did scare him.

"I was gonna say that you should probably prepare for the huge rollar coaster." Jonas said.

"Fuck no. I don't do that," Fiona laughed. Aw, running from me again? Pathetic, weakling, stupid.

"Hah! You're too scared!" Tommy taunted.

"I may not ride on rollar coasters but at least I'm not someone's side bitch!" Fiona barked back. She heard Jonas crack in laughter for a second while Poppi slapped her hand to her face.

"Aye who's side bitch do you think I am?"

"Jonas' side bitch or something," Fiona responded. Tommy looked her up and down with a wicked grin.

Fiona had the largest smile on her face teasing with the group. The unfamiliar but familiar teens packed in the car brought warmth to the coldness of life. Atleast for Fiona Rae Alexander. Fiona looked outside the window and looked at the faire.

"Hey Fifi! Have you ever heard of the town Fairpointe? It's about two hours from here." Ashlynn asked Fiona.

"No," Fiona said but it sounded more like a question.

"Good. Jay and I are going to this faire thing and you can only come with your girlfriend." Ashlynn said.

"I don't have a girlfriend, Ash." Fiona started, "Oh, not Giavanna again. Ashlynn Gina Morris you know how I feel about her!"

"Yeah, Yeah." Ashlynn said. "Then you're not coming!"

"That's fine. I don't want to be around Gia anyway." Fiona said. Ashlynn laughed and fluffed Fiona's hair. Fiona laughed.

The teens stepped outside the car. Fiona's eyes scanned the whole area. Her body buzzed unsteadily. Anxiety forced itself up to her shoulders. She didn't show it through. Because the mask was too thick.

Tommy put his hand on Fiona's shoulder playfully. Fiona froze and punched him in the ribs. "Don't fucking scare me!" She said laughing. Tommy held his ribs laughing.

"You're so much like your Dad." He said through the pain. That melted her anxiety away.