FTO Season 4 And 5 story oneshots

the gmg smackdown pt 2

(TW mentions of almost murder, vomiting, and self hatred, stay safe my friends! :)-sad🦂)

There was one time Jakey had properly considered, during his time at the protector's guild, Running away. February 22nd, a calm summers day that felt a lot more like spring, the water in the lake was glistening as it lazily splashed against the cliff side. The air was warm, with a slight cool breeze that balanced the temperature out.
Overall, it was a lovely day.

February 22nd, Jakey had almost killed somebody.

It was an accident. Anybody who was there could testify. Gosh, even the victim of his upsurge would say so, bless her fucking soul. He guesses that he's lucky; lucky that the worst word that would come out of any of their mouths about him in that moment would be 'scary'. But that doesn't mean he felt lucky. Because yes, in their eyes he wasn't a monster. But in his eyes? In his eyes he couldn't see himself as anything but one.

It was like after that day he was suddenly aware of himself more, he was aware of the skin on his face, the blood flowing through his fingertips, the sound of his heart; It only happened sometimes, only on days he actually had to acknowledge the event. but still too often for him to be comfortable with it. If it was once in a blue moon maybe he would be accepting of that fact. But the moon seemed blue far too often for his liking if that's the case.

It's hard to say exactly what happened, had he lost his temper and gone into a blind rage? Was he triggered into a panic mode? Where his fight or flight responded? Did he lose control of his magic and get overwhelmed? Or did he long, somewhere deep inside of him, in a place where shadows crawl in and out to nest in the empty chasms of his heart, that he could just, kill somebody? Was his animalistic outburst because he simply WANTED to?

... Is he truly a monster?

This was a thought he questioned a lot, as he continued through his life. No matter what he did it felt... Ingenuine. Like he was acting different than how he was, truly, deep down inside. But even if he was, then what was he truly? What was his real personality? Is what he did that day his real personality? It seems like it is!

It felt like he had some sickening hidden side you could only see-through broken shards of a mirror, like in a horror movie. It all sounded so cliché when he said it like that, but he didn't know how else to put it. It felt like he was possessed by an evil spirit that only came out at night. Or maybe he was the one possessing this body, maybe he was the one who took this body and made it something it isn't.

Although he had dreamt of running away before, it had never been a serious thought. More of a fantasy he'd have whilst at divinus magia, a comforting thought about all the good things that would happen to him if he left. But it wasn't something that he had truly considered outside of that day.

Although right now, he wants to get the fuck out. Maybe he could just, like leave? Just walk the fuck out of the stadium and never come back?

Jakey sighs,
"Why do I have to be attached to my stupid-ass guild, and the stupid ass members" He grumbles as he continues walking around trying to find Allumos before their fight.
His footsteps are loud and hasty, you can feel his frustration in the vibration of his feet against the floor.

Eventually he makes it to Allumos's prep room, hastily knocking on the door so he can get this over and done with. Allumos Appears with a quizzical look on his face, a single eyebrow raised at Jakey's frustrated glare.

"Jakey? What are you doing here?"
Jakey just sighs and steps into Allumos's room, before beckoning him to close the door and join him.

"Allumos. I need you to take me seriously for a moment" Jakey says as he leans against the wall, body stiff and eyes squeezed shut as if he had a migraine.
He runs a hand through his hair before continuing,)