I Remember You, Rin

C14 My Last Words To You

Everyone was crowded around, each sitting in their seats. Everyone went up one by one, making a speech. Tears fell from everyone's eyes. Everyone's but Rin's. The maroon-haired boy sat in silence, unable to think nor talk. All he could do was sit there and listen. Sit and listen until it was his turn to go up. Rin slowly made his way up the Church, stopping when he was in front of the microphone. He sighed as he took out a piece of folded paper. Then, taking a deep breath, he spoke into the mic. 

"When I was young, I remember seeing Sousuke for the first time. I knew already we were destined to be friends. After that, I left to go Australia for a few years. When I came back and saw my team again, I knew what I wanted to do first, and that was to find Sousuke. But, when I did...It wasn't a nice time. Sousuke had reached stage 4 by the time I saw him again. And, as time went on, I stayed by his side everyday. I slowly understood that maybe we weren't meant to be friends...Maybe something more. And we were. And ever since I haven't stopped showing my love for him. Ever since then he hasn't left my mind once, even when I had to go back to Australia. Everyday for the 4 months I thought of him. He didn't leave my mind once. And he never will. When I got back, he was in Stage 6... I knew that his end would come in a blink of an eye but I wasn't ready... It has been 5 weeks since he passed and not a single night has gotten past without him being in my mind. I still remember those last words which escaped his mouth the night before I left, telling me to love on. But, I don't believe I will be able to love anyone as much as I loved him. If anything, Sousuke was the last person who deserved to go through this. Sousuke was the last person who deserved anything bad to happen in his life. Sousuke was the first person and the only person I fell for...And it will stay that way forever. I remember coming to the hospital on his 25th...Only to be told those heart-breaking news."

 Rin paused for a second, gulping slightly, scrunching up the paper and throwing on the floor, clearly wanting to say something else than what he wrote. "When I heard the news he was gone, I didn't want to believe it. I was there for an hour trying to wake him up, screaming. I remember every second of that day. When I went back home, my family, Gou and my mum, was confused on why I was home so early. Then, my mum had a call with the Doctor and told Gou. Then we had my favourite for dinner to try and cheer me up..." Once more, Rin paused, his whole body shaking. Once more, he gulped as he spoke again. "Bringing me to the end of this speech to him, it shall be my thanking's... I would like to take this time to thank everyone...Everyone who was there when I was slowly breaking down, thank everyone who helped me accept the truth, everyone who is still trying to cheer me up and...Thank you to Sousuke...For giving me the happiest memories I will never forget. Thank you to Sousuke for letting me see a side of myself I never thought I had...Thank you to Sousuke for letting me stay by him. And I hope he knows when I see him again, I won't be leaving him. Not once, never. I shall continue to be by him forever and I'm sure everyone else will too...I will also thank everyone here for turning up... I'm sure Sousuke would've been happy to see you all and I'm sure he'll be proud of all of us from above." 

Rin stared at the ground during his whole speech, slowly making his way back to his seat. Everyone clapped slowly as tears fell. Rin sat back down and sighed, burying his face in his hands. Rin felt a warm touch on his shoulder. He turned his head but nothing was there. He gasped slightly as the tears slowly fell down, the fact that the one he used to love was now gone finally starting to hit him. Rin gripped his chest as he gulped roughly. Gou was sitting next to him, having a small understanding of how much pain Rin really was in. She knew her brother didn't like crying by a group of people so she understood he must've been really damaged but she didn't know exactly how damaged he was. Gou slowly lifted her hand and placed it on Rin's back, trying to comfort her brother. Rin let a few more tears escape before wiping his eyes and sighing. Then, after an hour, the funeral had ended. 

When the Matsuoka's got home, Rin instantly rushed upstairs. Gou was about to check up on him but their mum stopped her. "Just let him be, he needs some alone time right now." Gou nodded as she sighed a bit, hugging her mother, both clearly worried for the boy. 

When Rin got into his room, he shut his door with a small slam and jumped onto his bed, curling into a ball and squeezing his pillow, his breathing stabbing his throat with every breath he took. Rin looked at his bedside table. Next to his alarm was the picture frame he had got for Sousuke, now a picture of them both at the park together at night time inside. Rin picked up the picture and stared at it for a bit, tears falling every second. Then, he placed it down, running downstairs, wiping his eyes. "Mum, do we have a random chair we don't really need anywhere?" Rin's mum looked at her son and nodded. Her and Gou was watching a movie to distract them. "There should be a plastic chair in the shoe cupboard." Gou let out a quiet laugh. "Why do we have a chair in the shoe cupboard." Their mum laughed a bit. "There was no where to put it!" Both girls laughed a bit whilst Rin walked upstairs. Then, he brought it into his room, setting it down in front of a window.

It was around 10pm when everyone was asleep. Everyone but Rin. Since he got home, he's been staring up into the sky the whole day, waiting for darkness to arise. When everyone was in bed, Rin put on the hoodie Sousuke wanted him to have and he made his way outside. Rin kept walking until he got to his destination. The park he took Sousuke. Rin laid down in the exact spot him and Sousuke sat at, lifting his arm up towards the sky. A few tears ran from his eyes as he whispered to the stars. "Sousuke...This is the night sky you loved so...I believe this is when you'll be watching..." Rin took a deep breath before slowly placing his arm beside him. "Earlier in the church...My shoulder became warm but no one was there...Was that you?" A soft sigh escaped. "You...knew your end was close, didn't you? Telling me to love on as your last words...I thought you were smart, Sousuke." By now, Rin had the hood up covering his eyes as he wiped them with his sleeves. "How am I meant to love on when I can't even love myself anymore?" Instantly, a strong breeze blew Rin's hood back. The boy instantly sat up, looking around. The trees were completely still yet he was sure they would at least be swaying. Then, the strong wind came back but going the other way, blowing the hood back up. A small gasp left Rin in shock as more tears began to fall. "Sousuke...Please, I hope you can hear me...I'll see you again soon...I'm just scared for when I do join." Then, after an hour, Rin went home.