The Extra Daughter ~ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

The White Witch

Song: Castle by Halsey

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Now, the author will describe the following chapter in her perspective through unreliable narrating.
Enjoy.
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Lucy, dear, it's very late you should be asleep. Honey, Narnia is real and I know that you wanna go back, but sleep is important.

And of course, you can't hear me so there you go with your adorable rubber boots. Smart move, sweetie. I'll give you that.

Be careful with that candle. Fire is cool and arson is fun but you're nine and innocent so please be careful.

Wait... Edmund, the fuck you doing up? Oh, and you saw Lucy. And now you're following her.

Hey, Luce! You should hide around a corner and then scare the living shit out of him. You can't hear me... Fuck, that woulda been hilarious.

Lucy, you should open that door faster. Faster. Faster. Ooh, wind! Nice. Now go meet Mr. Tumnus. He misses you.

Oh, there you are, you little shit... Yes, yes, follow your sister into the wardrobe. Ha, idiot, she's not there so you can't scare her.

Wha- What are you doing? Don't close the wardrobe door! Don't you know that's it's incredibly foolish to lock oneself in a wardrobe? Dumbass.

You know, just because you keep saying Lucy's name doesn't mean she's gonna appear outta thin air.

Yes, that's a branch. Careful, you might-

And you fell...

I'll be honest, you deserved that. Little shit. Believe her now? Huh? Asshole.

Again, saying her name over and over again will not make her appear.

Where are you going? That's the wrong way. Did you not see those obvious footprints that obviously belonged to your sister? No? Okay.

Hmm, that looks suspiciously like a road. There's someone coming, so move. Edmund, there is someone coming. Move. Move! MOVE, IDIOT!!!!

That's what you get for not moving out of the way of a fucking reindeer-drawn sleigh.

Wait... Wha- HEY, NONONO!!! YOU FUCKING OOMPA LOOMPA! EDMUND MIGHT BE A PRICK BUT HE'S STILL A KID THAT HAS A GOOD CHARACTER ARC LATER!! GET THE FUCK OFF HIM!!

Yes, there you go. Listen to your mistress, you fucking di-

Holy fuck, she's pretty.

Wait, no, she's evil. Bad Author.

But she's gorgeous.

Yes, but snap out of it, you gay fuck, Edmund is the main concern here.

Fair enough.

Stop giving away trade secrets, dumbass. You've just doomed Tumnus, fucktard. And now she knows that there's four of you which coincides with the prophecy. Great.

There are five of you though... Four Pevensies and one June Byrne... Why did you not fucking mention June? Oh wait, there you go. June believed Lucy, yes. Now the Witch is confused... Why is she confused?

Edmund, you're 12. You should know not to get into a stranger's vehicle. It's literally white. You are basically getting in a stranger's big white van.

But she's pretty...

SHUT UP!

"CAn you MakE me TAlLeR?" Shut the fuck up, you're not funny. I am still worried about you though. She is evil after all.