By request :) I got so silly and stupid with this one. I apologize in advance.
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"Y/n, I'm not trying to rush you, but are you about done?" Bilbo asked with his back turned towards where you were drying off from you bath. You knew how much Bilbo valued his status as a respectable hobbit, that's why you chose him to stand guard while you bathed; he wouldn't dare peek.
"I'm dressed if you want to turn around. I'm just drying my hair a bit."
Bilbo turned and watched as you ran the towel vigorously over your short hair. The company, particularly the dwarves, had been quite astounded by your hairstyle when they first met you. They couldn't understand why such a lovely woman would want to cut off all of her hair. But now they appreciated it as being uniquely "you," and most of them thought it actually flattered your facial features exceptionally well.
As the two of you headed back to camp, Bilbo stopped when an unfamiliar sound met his pointed ears. "What is that awful noise?" he asked, wrinkling his face up in disgust.
"I'm afraid I know exactly what it is," you replied.
Walking into camp, you spotted Kili lounging against a tree, holding your iPod and looking at it curiously.
"Kili, what are you doing messing with that?" you asked on your way to snatch it from him.
"What's an anaconda?" he asked while the song was still blaring.
Blushing brightly, you snatched it from him and replied with the half-truth, "It's a snake."
"Well now I'm really confused."
"If you want to listen to music, why don't you let me pick out something you'll like?"
"Alright," he said, squirming in his seat and eyes shining brightly. "Choose away!"
You scrolled through your music selection with a small frown on your face. What would Kili like? He was young, energetic, boisterous...finally you clicked on a selection and let the music start to fill the air.
"It's going down.
I'm yelling 'Timber!'
You better move.
You better dance.
Let's make a night, you won't remember.
I'll be the one
You won't forget."
"I like it!" he exclaimed with a smile. Then he jumped up, grabbed you around the waist, and started spinning you around. When he let you go, you both started hopping up and down and you showed him how to fist pump to the beat.
"Well I think it stinks. No offense, lassie." Bofur said with a smile.
"Let's try this then," you replied and started scrolling again before choosing another song.
While the intro music played, you walked over to Bofur and then started singing along with the words.
"Oh hey, boy with your hat back."
You pushed his hat down so it covered his face.
"Mm I kinda like that.
If you want to walk my way,"
Bofur hopped up and started wiggling his body just like yours, causing the others to erupt into laughter.
"I'ma shoot ya straight up
Show me whatcha made of.
I don't have time to waste
On the boys that are playing the games"
You pointed a playfully accusing finger at Kili.
"And leaving the girls crying out in the rain.
So tell me baby,
do you got what it takes?
If you gonna hold me,
hold me like I'm leaving."
Bofur wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him.
"If you're gonna kiss me,
kiss me like you need it."
He jumped up and pecked you quickly on the cheek.
"Baby if you're not you best get to leaving."
You pushed him away, wagging your finger at him.
"If you're going to love me,
love me like you mean it."
The rest of the song went on much the same way, with the two of you dancing comically and the others enjoying your antics.
When the song finished, both of you bowed to your audience.
"Shall we do another?" Bofur asked eagerly. But the song that shuffle had chosen required a different partner.
"This dance belongs to him!" you said, pointing at a bewildered Thorin who was sitting on the other side of the camp.
You made your way over to him, swaying your hips seductively, and singing:
"I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Boy, you just don't realize
What you do to me"
You grabbed Thorin's hands, pulled him onto his feet and as close to you as possible, causing the hardened King Under the Mountain to blush bright red.
"When you hold me
in your arms so tight
You let me know
Everything's alright"
The two of you were now swaying your bodies to the music, with Thorin's much more rigid and awkward than your own.
"IIIII'mmm
Hooked on a feeling
I'm high on believin
That you're in love with me"
You gave your current dance partner a giant wink before licking your lips in the most exaggeratedly sexual way possible.
"Lips as sweet as candy
Its taste is on my mind
Boy, you've got me thirsty
For another
Cup of wine"
Thorin finally loosened up a bit and twirled you while the music surrounded the two of you.
"All the good love
When we're all alone"
You wiggled your eyebrows at him suggestively.
"Keep it up boy
Yeah, you turn me on"
Right as you were fanning your face at those lines, Dwalin pulled you away from Thorin saying, "Alright, that's enough of that. Dance with me?"
"Sure, big boy. I've got the perfect song for you too." You hurried over to your iPod and quickly changed the music before rushing back to him.
"What is this?" he asked with a frown on his face.
"You'll love it. Trust me" you said, bobbing your head to the beat and dancing in circles around him.
"And girls,
they want to have fun.
Oh girls just want to have fun"
The boys were doubled over laughing at the expression on Dwalin's face as you continued trying to dance with his annoyed and unmoving body.
"Oh I'm giving up on you," you said with a sigh before flipping to another song. When it started playing, you set your sights on your next unsuspecting victim.
But poor Bilbo almost didn't survive your sexed up version of Hungry Eyes. He was still in a state of shock from you throwing your thigh over his shoulder late into the night.
You and Fili put far too much effort into making your moves match up to the lyrics of Troublemaker, and you and Nori had a ball with Last Friday Night. But the highlight of the evening had to be when you convinced Gandalf and Balin to show off their skills to Thrift Shop.
Finally exhausted from the combination of the day's traveling and the impromptu party, all of you settled down for the night. Just as you were about to drift off to sleep, you heard Kili whisper, "Hey, y/n, I still don't understand what that Anaconda song was supposed to be about."
"It's best if we leave it that way. Trust me. Now go to sleep, sweet prince."
