Fade in on Doc/O'Malley behind a turret.
O'Malley: Yeeees, this place is coming along nicely. Excellent work repairing the turrets, Lopez.
Lopez: Gracias. Me encanta el trabajo manual. [Thank you. I find manual labor stimulating.]
Doc: I still say a flowerbox would have been a bit more neighborly.
O'Malley: Oh shut up you fool!
Doc: Hey, we should start a neighborhood association. It's just like a government, but run by housewives and old people. So it's a lot more efficient at controlling your lives.
O'Malley: Get out of my head!
Doc: Technically it's my head. But I don't mind sharing. Don't you remember that talk we had about sharing?
O'Malley: Shut up!
Cut to a strange red soldier running toward ...something.
Red Zealot: At last! My pilgrimage is over! I have reached the promised land!
O'Malley: (running to the ledge, through the fan) Who is that. Oh no. Not this buffoon! How did he get here?
Lopez: Él estaba cerca de la bomba cuando quemo. [He probably was blown nearby by the bomb.]
O'Malley: Hellooooo. What do you want?
Red Zealot: The disembodied voice of God! (kneels) I hear you Holy One! I have made it to the temple and await your command!
O'Malley: Up here- Helloooo. Red Moron. Eyes up, chop-chop!
Red Zealot: Oh. Greetings! Are you the gatekeeper of the temple?
Doc: Us? No, we just moved in. Can you help us move a couch? And do you know any good restaurants nearby?
O'Malley: Just a second. (To Doc) Listen you fool, let me handle this.
Doc: I don't know, you haven't been the best choice when it comes to making friends. Maybe I should try.
O'Malley: Nonsense! With the proper handling, this fellow will make an excellent stooge. And I'm the one here with the most experience training Stooges. Isn't that right, Lopez...
Lopez: Nyuk, nyuk.
O'Malley: You see!?!
Doc: Okay, you can handle this, but I get to hang my motivational posters in the living room. Hang in there kitty!
O'Malley: Fine. But I'm telling you that cat will never make it to Friday. (To courtyard) Yes, I am the guardian of the temple. What do you want?
Red Zealot: I have travelled great distances, in search of enlightenment!
O'Malley: Reaaally, that's perfect. We have tons of that in here, but listen. We just can't let anyone in who wants to get in, so goodbye.
Red Zealot: Wait! I will do anything. Just tell me what I need to do to gain entrance.
Doc: Psst, ask him what he knows about gardening.
Lopez: Pregúntale si podemos tener sus hombros. [Ask him if we can have his shoulders.]
Doc: Maybe he knows how to use that computer we found.
The gate opens, in a very bizarre, unnecessarily cinematic graphical sequence.
O'Malley: Alright then come on in. We'll think of something, (evil laughter) (more evil laughter) (even more evil laughter) (still more evil laughter)
Lopez: Hazlo más despacio. Lo vas a arruinar. [Tone it down. You're going to blow it.]
O'Malley: (yet again, more evil laughter)
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue and purple
FanfictionThe reds and blues have been separated and Tex is back. As Sabine finds out more about her past and she meets another freelancer, that wants her dead for unknown reasons. Can Sabine protect her friends while finding out more about her past? Read to...