Fade in to the Blues
Tucker: You're trying to tell us that this bomb can talk.
Caboose: I'm not telling you that, he's telling you that.
Caboose gestures to Andy as he glares at Tucker.
Andy: Yeah, and I'm standing right here. You can talk to me.
Tucker: If you could talk this whole time, then why didn't you just... wait, why'm I talking to a bomb? I'm not doing this.
Sabine: Calm down.
Andy: What, am I not good enough to talk to? Who do you think you are, some kind of "too good to talk to a bomb" type?
Church: Maybe it's a good idea not to piss off the explosive device.
Tex: I agree.
Church looks at Tex.
Church: I wasn't talking about you Tex.
Tex: Hey, why don't you suck my-
Tucker: Did Gary say anything about the bomb being able to talk?
Church: Uh, just that this whole place is going to be destroyed by us, and that Andy here is probably the thing that does it.
Tucker: Oh. That's not good.
Sabine: Well that's just great.
Andy: I don't think so. Bunch of shisnos if ya ask me. And no one did ask me which I find insulting!
Church: Alright, alright, calm down Andy, calm down.
Andy: Don't tell me to calm down, I am calm!
Church looks at Caboose pleadingly.
Church: Caboose, calm this thing down before it has a meltdown.
Andy: (under Church) Look at me! I'm calm!
Sabine: (Mutters) We can see that.
Caboose: Andy, everyone here is your friend. And no one wants to hurt you.
Andy: Yeah right.
Caboose: Come on Andy, think of a happy place. Now what makes you happy?
Andy: Being in the middle of a huge explosion!
Church waves his arms at Caboose.
Church: Less happy place Caboose, less happy place!
Caboose: Ah u... think calming thoughts, uh... let's count backwards from ten! Ten, nine, eight-
Tex and Tucker: NO!
Church/Sabine: (at the same time) Duck!
Cut to the Reds, Simmons in the Warthog and Grif next to it
Simmons: Okay. I'm ninety-five percent certain that the distress signal is coming from that way.
Sarge: Excellent work Simmons. Alright men... and Grif. Let's get ready to roll.
Grif: Only ninety-five percent certain?
Simmons: Grif, if there's one thing that I've learned in working with you, it's that there's always margin for error.
Sarge: Excellent comeback Simmons. That's a burn.
Simmons: Thank you Sir.
Grif: Har har. Look who's so smart. It's pronounced margarine dumbass.
Simmons: Seriously, if I ever meet the guy that assigned you to our squad, I'm gonna kill him.
Grif: Well if you're ninety-five percent certain it's that way, which way's the other five percent?
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue and purple
FanfictionThe reds and blues have been separated and Tex is back. As Sabine finds out more about her past and she meets another freelancer, that wants her dead for unknown reasons. Can Sabine protect her friends while finding out more about her past? Read to...