Fade in to Simmons talking to Sarge from the safe confines of the Warthog
Simmons: Okay, so let me get this straight... they were talking... to the bomb.
Grif: Dude, I don't know. They mentioned something about candles and a bubble bath, painting and they were playing some kind of a New Age CD. It's like a Yanni fan club meeting.
Sarge: That makes no sense at all. Did you wanna translate for us Pinky Pants?
Donut: My guess is that they're trying to get the bomb to do something for 'em.
Simmons: And all that sweet talk and candles will work on a bomb.
Donut: It would work on me!
Sarge: Doncha see what they're tryin' to do?
Grif: No. Isn't that the point of this conversation?
Sarge: The Blues are obviously trying to coax the bomb into rearming. They're about to launch an attack. On us!
Grif: Why would they do that?
Sarge: Because they're Blues. Somebody get this kid the manual.
Simmons: Oh-ho, I hate the Blues.
Sarge: That's the spirit Simmons.
Grif: What about Sabine?
Sarge: She's been brainwashed Grif! She's a lost cause.
Cut to several Lopezes in formation
O'Malley: Hoohoohoohohahaha. And now the hour is at hand. It is time, my robot minions.
Doc: He means robot miniones. Where's your cultural sensitivity?
O'Malley: Oh shut up. At last, we will seize our destiny!
Doc: Do we really have to seize destiny? Can't we just invite it to join our online circle of friends?
O'Malley: Quiet you fool. And quit sending me those invites. They're repulsive. Prepare for battle! We will break upon their fortress like an evil wind!
Doc: Oh.
O'Malley: Crushing our opponents with lightning speed! Attack!
Robot Army: Charge.
The Robot Army starts walking slowly forward
O'Malley: You there, hurry along. And you in the back. You- Lopez, can't you speed them up?
Lopez: Ésta es su velocidad máxima. [This is their maximum velocity.]
O'Malley: This isn't what I asked for.
Lopez: Dijiste que querías un día de victoria. A esta velocidad, tendrán veinticuatro horas para ganar.[You said you wanted a day of victory. At this speed, they will win in exactly 24 hours.]
O'Malley: Heuh...
A Robot: Charge.
Cut to the Blues
Church: So we cool here?
Tucker: I think we're finally calmed down.
Caboose: Yes. We are all better now, we are not mad, and we are definitely not thinking about exploding at all any more.
Sabine: Yes, we are all calm.
Andy: Hey, are you talkin' about me?
Church: What? No, course not. We just wanna make sure that we're all happy, and that we're not upset in any way whatsoever.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue and purple
FanfictionThe reds and blues have been separated and Tex is back. As Sabine finds out more about her past and she meets another freelancer, that wants her dead for unknown reasons. Can Sabine protect her friends while finding out more about her past? Read to...
