✨Jegulily✨

Chapter 8: Jealousy

(P a i n)
(TW: a bit of self hatred. Not that bad, but I'll put ⚠️ At the start and end of it so that you can still read without being triggered or bothered.)

James and Lily. Again. It always felt like they were the cute couple, and Regulus was a third wheel. As much as they tried to reassure him that that wasn't the case, that he is just as valid and loved, he still felt inadequate.

Regulus was walking out of the Slytherin common room, going to find Lily and James, when the girl who had been rude to them in the great hall a while ago bumped into him.

"Watch where your going, scrub!" She spat at him, and he looked down and apologized. "Sorry." He tried to walk around her, but she stepped in front of him. "Wheres your girlfriend? And boyfriend?" She mocked concern.

"Dunno." He said. "Going to find them though, so if you'd let me-" He tried to swerve around her again, but she shoved him back. "They were better off without you." She whispered to him. "They just felt bad for you. Don't you know that they love each other, and your the annoying little friend who tags along?"

"Violet!" Someone shouts, running up to her. "Who's this?" He asks, taking her hand. "Why do you care?" She asked, in a bored tone. He extended a hand to Regulus. "Thomas Parkinson, nice to meet you. I'm sorry if Violet was bothering you."

The girl, Violet, rolled her eyes, pushing her long brown hair away from her face. Regulus shook Thomas's hand. "Regulus Black. You wouldn't have seen James Potter or Lily Evans around here?" Thomas shook his head. "No, sorry."

"Thanks anyways. I have to go." Thomas waved, as Regulus walked away. He searched the halls and classrooms, trying to find them, and saw Sirius. "Remus?" Sirius asked. "Haven't seen him. James and Lily?" Regulus responded. "That way." Sirius pointed behind him, and they kept walking.

That was the beauty of the Black brothers relationship. They didn't have to say anything special, or worry about how they were saying something, because they both understand each other.

Regulus went in the direction Sirius pointed at, and saw James and Lily at the end of the corridor. They were holding hands and walking away from him, oblivious to the fact he had been trying to find them. He smiled and quickened his pace to join them, picking up a bit of their conversation.

"-Nice to be alone..." He heard Lily say. What? "....Gets a bit annoying sometimes." James added. Regulus slowed down. Of course, he had felt bad, like he was imposing on their relationship, but he didn't truly believe it until now.

They hate him.

⚠️
"Of course they hate me"  he thought. "Why wouldn't they? I'm just a stupid little kid, ruining things like I always do." He found an empty classroom and sat down on the ground. "I should break up with them. But I don't want to. Well, I should. It would make them happy." His thoughts raced, and it became hard to breath.

"How have I been so oblivious?" He asked himself, tears starting to slide down how face. "Clearly, they were a better couple without me. I'm the reason they get bullied. I'm the reason. It's all my fault." These thoughts continued, and it became harder and harder to control himself.
⚠️

Why am I so jealous of their relationship? He asked himself. He felt a panic attack come on, he rocked back and forth, holding himself and sobbing.

"Regulus!" Someone shouted, running towards him, but he was crying too hard to hear. He felt a hand on his back, and heard someone whispering comforting things to him. He blushed and covered his face, embarrassed. Boy do I look stupid now. He thought, and looked up.

Sirius. Of course. He leaned in and hugged his brother, crying into his shoulder, gasping for breath. Sirius kissed the top of his head. "It's okay." He said, trying his best to help his little brother.

After a minute of Sirius holding him, helping Regulus relax, Sirius asked "What's wrong, Reggy?" Regulus hiccuped and gasped for breath. "They hate me." He whispered. Sirius immediately knew who he was talking about. "No they don't." He said firmly.

"That's the shitty thing about polyamory." Sirius said with a comforting smile. "Marlene warned me and Remus about this, about how loving two people gets difficult, especially when you get jealous. She told us that you guys might need reassurance. I know for a fact that Lily has already gone through this."

Regulus quickly got concerned. "Lily-" Sirius cut him off. "She's okay now. It'll be okay for you as well, James and Lily want you to be a part of the relationship, Reg." He said. "But I heard them talking. About how it's nice to be alone, and how I get a bit annoying sometimes."

Sirius burst out laughing, and Regulus glared at him. "S-sorry." Sirius said, still laughing. "Reg, they weren't talking about YOU. They were talking about US. The Marauders. We are annoying little fucks sometimes." Regulus rolled his eyes. "You are annoying." He said.

Sirius stopped laughing. "Listen, go talk to them. Tell them what your feeling. I'm certain that they would never want to hurt you." He stood up, and helped Regulus up from the floor, wiping the tears out of his little brothers eyes.

(I'm sorry.)