Boston Blood

Fifty six

He was holding her down. She felt the cold metal of his gun scrape the skin on the inside of her mouth as he shoved it further and further down her throat. She couldn't breathe. She was choking and his body was too heavy. She couldn't move. She could hear several deep chuckles and managed to turn her head in their direction. Lucy was lying to one side of her. Michael and her mother were on the other side. She tried calling to them but couldn't speak. She was choking and knew she was going to die. Tony laughed as he removed the gun from her mouth and pointed it to her mother. He fired. Then Lucy, then Michael. She knew she was screaming but no sound was coming out. She was looking for Cillian but she couldn't see him. Then she heard him scream in agony. Tony had gone and she was in a dark room but she couldn't move. Someone was holding her while she watched Aidan torture Cillian in front of her. He was telling Frankie that it was all her fault. That everyone had died because of her and now Cillian was to be her next victim. She screamed and screamed and screamed and eventually got free from the man holding her back. She ran to Cillian and grabbed a gun that was on the floor. She held it up and fired. Tommy and Aidan were at her feet, dead. Cillian pulled her close. He thanked her for saving him and he kissed her so deeply that she thought she was going to die. She kept trying to say that she was sorry but he kept must calling her name and shushing her gently. She could feel his hands on her. They were warm but rough at the same time. They felt too close. Too real. His voice was in her ear and she wanted to touch him. To feel his hands on her. She felt safe. wake up. He kept telling her to wake up.

"Frankie, wake up. Please. It's okay. You're okay. I'm here. I've got you. You're safe, Frankie."

Her eyes shot open and she grabbed onto a set of arms that were dangerously close. It was too dark to see and she could feel the panic rising and rising. "Frankie. It's me. I'm here. You're okay. It was just a dream. I've got you."

She couldn't see him but he was beside her, wrapping her up against his bare chest and holding onto her. She was shivering and he rubbed her arms with his hands to keep her warm. He didn't say anything. He just gave her time to calm down and she really appreciated that. After a few minutes, she could feel her breathing return to normal but she grasped onto him. The darkness seemed to help with her anxiety about her feelings for him. It was him but she couldn't see him. In the darkness she let herself be close to him. She let all the worries and fear and uncertainty go. She held him and he held her and she never wanted to let go.

She felt him shift and try to reach over to turn the light on but she grabbed his hand, blindly and ended up falling on top of him. "Okay, we'll leave it off." His light chuckle relaxed her and she didn't even mind that she had somehow ended up in his lap, facing him with her legs on either side of his hips. She closed her eyes and could feel his rapid breath brush the skin of her neck. She knew he felt nervous and that was oddly comforting because she was absolutely terrified.

She could hear his mouth open like he wanted to say something but he didn't. His breathing was getting faster and she smirked. He cleared his throat and put his hands on her hips to move her off him. "Um, you should get some sleep. It's almost 6. You'll be exhausted." His voice was low and shaky but Frankie held onto him. She felt brave and reckless and all she wanted to do was let go. She wanted to feel him and for him to hold her. She was in danger and he was a huge part of that but in that moment, she had never felt safer in her life.

"I don't want to sleep, Cillian. I can't. Every time I close my eyes, I see them. I see them being hurt. I see you being hurt and it kills me. I just don't know what to do. Everything is so fucked up and I failed him. I failed Michael and now he's so caught up in all of this mess. He's a fucking dirty cop who's working for our fucking prick of a father and I can't fix it. It's just all so fu-,"