Love You Till My Heart Crash

Chapter 9- I would go choose pain all over again.

"Why do I always fall for the bad girl?"

The roses I'm holding cut my fingers but I don't care.

My grip got tighter and tighter and I could feel my blood dripping.

Her windows have never been this clearer.

I watch her betray me. The Noah I know wouldn't let this happen. The Noah I know would pull her away. But my feet won't move.

It's just my eyes that I rely on. A tear tickled on my cheek as my chin trembled with sadness.

I watch her slowly pressing her body to the man. She raises her arms and puts it in his neck, kissing every part she can reach.

As they moved closer to the wall, I got a better view of the man.

Why him? I screamed my heart out. My lips trembled when I heard her call out his name.

"Jay..."

She closes her eyes when his hands touch the hem of her dress. She was pressed firmly against him, time doesn't seem to exist not until they got tired of grinding each other.

I didn't look away when he put himself in her.

I don't know how long I stood in the heavy rain. But I counted how many times they did it.

Is that why he's here? Was he much better than me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not enough?

After hovering with all my thoughts, her door finally opened. Jay walks out and runs to his car then leaves.

I watched her again. She's in her towel , smiling while holding her phone. Like nothing happened

The sound of my phone tore mid air. I swipe the screen up and see her calling me.

"Hey" she says cheerfully. I watch her moving in a circle.

It took me a second to respond. "Hi." I said with a gruff voice

"I just got home, and I was thinking if you want to come over." She bits her lip, waiting for me to reply.

Liar.

"Yeah of course I'll be there in 20"

"Great, I'll see you. I love you babe." Why does her voice still sound so heavenly even after all the evilness she did?

"Okay I love you too." I said, chewing my lower lip, there's a forming tear but I won't let it fall.

I did nothing but watch her dress and put makeup in her face. I couldn't deny her outstanding elegance. How does she manage to look so clean after all the dirt she let in.

Just like I told her, I arrived at her door at 20. Even if I'm here hours ago.

I knocked at her door and she welcomed me like I'm her only lover. I stare at those perfidious gray eyes.

She greets me with a warm smile that I thought I would return. But it's the rage that filled mine.

I don't know what came to me but I immediately pulled her shirt off. I wasn't gentle when I laid her down in the bed. And it surprised her.

"Are you okay babe?," She says quietly.

"Yes."

No No. No I am not. This isn't me.

She rolls over me, a sudden anger ranges inside me when I feel her body underneath me.

It's the exact scene of her and Jay. It tores my heart apart knowing she loves somebody else and even if I know I should leave. I stay and let her use me.

Because I can't leave the person who knows how to live my life better.

We reach the end together, but she doesnt know I'm indulged in pain. I pull her tighter against my body and brush my finger to her hair.

"Do you think a person can unlove someone they truly love?" I ask, I ran my other hand to her bare shoulders.

She chuckles, her head tilts and meets mine. "Why would the person want that, you said it yourself.. they truly love each other."

I cleared my throat. "Maybe because the man knows that there is a better one for her.. or maybe because he learns that it's not just him she wants, that's why he wants to unlove her."

She darts her eyes away. I watch her blink rapidly.

"Well then it's not love. It's just a desire the person wants."

Desire? Am I only a desire for you? Have you not seen any future with us together? Because I... I see it every single day, and that's what my day keeps going on.

Then, "I love you." I said, kissing her forehead. I reached for the switch and turned the remaining light off.

She kisses me back in the lips and touches my jaws. "Me too."

~
I'm going to regret this. My drunk mind said. She was still sleeping when I left her apartment. I know this is wrong. But I think this is what I need. I stand in front of Rebecca's window. It took only a second for her to let me enter.

My knees are weakening and so is my heart. I am whimpering in front of her, I don't know if she understood any word I say but she nods. She holds me in her arms tight, because she knows I couldn't stand any longer. Minutes pass and we're lying on the floor. My head was on her shoulders, she brushed my hair with her soft fingers, and then slowly worked its way up to my hands.

We haven't talked since the wedding, but I tried calling her. "I'm sorry I left you alone." I whispered.

She says something back but I couldn't understand her well. I can feel a throbbing headache forming, so I closed my eyes. Before I went to sleep I heard her say, "You almost got the black key."

~
I went to school to fetch Hannah.

I plan to say to her that this might be the last time I'll be driving her home.

Once she enter the car she quickly starts to tell me how her day went.

"What do you think is the best weapon to kill?Do you think it's a knife?" She asks.

"Cutting a coconut is like cutting a throat. I wouldn't say its the best weapon."

"So what do you think?"

"There's a gun machine or nuclear but the best weapon would be anything near you. And it could be your hands." I say then she gasps.