Love You Till My Heart Crash

Chapter 11- Before You Go

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." -Pablo Neruda

When I went home to grab Jess' things I found our door open.

I find Hannah standing and staring at me. As she began to walk towards me, my chest tightened.

"Noah you have to believe me. I don't know what came over me. I don't even know how I got in there."

"Hannah what the fuck!" I exclaimed at her. I grab her wrist tightly

I couldn't bear the truth that I helped her plan a revenge, and it hurt someone. And what's worse is that it is my sister.

I was an accomplice in hurting my sister without knowing. But Why her?

What could have she done that made Hannah want to hurt her so badly?

"You want money huh? Fine, take it all!" I took my wallet and throwed whatever I could find. My knees suddenly felt weak until I reached the floor. "You even took my heart. I told you I love you. Don't I matter to you!" My voice shivers.

I tilted my head then her eyes held mine. She walks to me then brushes her fingers to my hair and the other thumb caresses my flaming cheeks.

"Was it worth it?"

"Never." She says then puts her soft lips against mine. She kisses me softly but I return her kisses hard. I want her to retreat. To surrender.

Not to me.

But to the police.

I'm fucked up.

---
It's been two weeks.

Most days I stayed in my room.
Nor my mind or my body wants to move. I still feel betrayed. And somehow is also stupid.

I called the police the moment she fell asleep after we makeout. She didn't scream or yell at all when they handcuffed her.

"You are under arrest on assault charges for threatening and causing harm to Jessica Smith. Penalties will be imposed as discussed, anything you say will be used against you in court of Law." The policeman said.

I did nothing but watch them take her. She didn't look back, and neither did I.

Since I threw my phone away I decided to send her a letter.

A letter she can read. A letter that will put her in remorse.

"Hannah. I dont fucking know where to start but I had enough. You don't love me and you never did. Because if you truly have loved me. It would only be me. When you love someone you wouldn't hurt them.. or their family either. Your life isn't the shitty one. You are."

Those were the words I remember I put.

I don't know how many times I used the word why. But I know I am tired of asking questions where there are no answers.

My thoughts abruptly stop when I hear the other room door slammed. And now I can hear the moving of my door knob.

My sister, who is still in the process of healing, enters.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked , I tapped the bed sheet letting her sit with me.

She walks toward me then heavily sighs. I looked at her face and it was obvious that she was hiding something.

"Spit it out. It's alright. I'm always here for you." I said, smiling at her.

"Remember the girl? Who pushed me?"