Broken: A Bad Batch Story

Chapter 7: Clouded

I woke up in a hospital bed, again. It's getting annoying now. The droid named AZ came up to me and said ''Good morning, Lira. It has been 13 hours since you passed out.'' ''You're kidding...'' I said. ''No I am not, you really were'' The droid said. I raised my eyebrows. "Do you experience some kind of flashbacks lately?'' The droid asked. ''I don't like to talk about it'' I replied. ''I assume that's a yes'' The droid said. I stayed quiet. ''I would recommend a healing process, coming from a backta tank.'' ''I won't do that'' I replied. ''Why is that?'' The droid asked.

At that moment Shaak Ti came into the room. ''I think it's a good idea to it. I may help to calm your mind'' Shaak Ti said. ''I've done it before. All the memories keep coming back. I don't want to redo this all over again'' I replied. ''I could understand that. But we can help you. In de bacta tank we'll see brain activity while you're sleeping. With that, we can see inside your mind and try to find out what is causing aggressiveness" Shaak Ti told me. ''I don't want do suffer again. Have the pain'' I replied. ''You're scared, aren't you?'' She asked. I nodded. 'I'm even afraid to fall asleep'' I said. ''If you do this, you wont be having the flashbacks again. We can help you, but we won't force you to do this. We can fix you'' Shaak Ti replied. ''OK, I'll agree. But you have to restrain me before I hurt anyone'' I said. ''We'll take care of that'' Shaak Ti replied while smiling at me.

Shaak Ti left the room and a few seconds later Hunter came in. ''You've heard it, didn't you?'' I asked while smiling. ''Yeah, if you don't mind'' Hunter replied. ''I don't'' I said. ''Wanna talk about it?'' He asked. ''What's there to talk about?'' I replied. Hunter looked worried at me. ''Lately I get flashback about my past, that's also how I got stabbed by Ventress. Every time when I see those flashbacks and I'm in the moment again, I lose my mind'' I said. ''What are those flashbacks about?'' Hunter asked. ''The people I've killed. The things I have done. You've no control about it. It's eating you up from the inside'' I replied.

Hunter came closer. ''If it helps a little, I'm scared too'' he said. ''You scared?'' I said. ''Why? For what?'' ''Failing my squad'' Hunter replied. ''I can't fail them. When something goes wrong, It feels like that's on me. I can't lose them. I have to protect them no matter what.'' ''I understand. You won't fail your brothers, I promise you'll do great'' I replied. ''So will you'' Hunter said. ''If I can't fail my brothers, you can't fail yourself.'' Hunter then grabbed my hand for a second and smiled. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to prepare for the exams'' he said. ''Of course'' I replied. He stood up and was about to go off. ''Hunter?'' I said. ''Yeah?'' He replied. ''Thank you, for everything.'' ''It's no big deal. Take care'' he replied. "You too.''

A few hours past and the bacta tank was ready made. ''So, visions of your past you have'' A voice said behind me. It was master Yoda. ''Yes, master'' I replied. ''Let's see how to help you we can'' Master Yoda said. I took my clothes of and stood on the platform of the bacta tank. I took the inhaler in placed it in my mouth. The platform was going on down and I could feel the warm water touching my body. More jedi master were coming in. Most of the jedi were concerned about my abilities. They thought I was dangerous. I don't blame theme. I think I'm dangerous as well.

Once my body was completely covered in water, I could feel myself drifting away. ''Restrain her'' I heard Shaak Ti say. Iron staffs stated to cover my body. I could move any limbs of my body anymore. I felt scared and save at the same time. Scared, because I had no where to go and to relive my memories again. Save, because I couldn't hurt anyone.

The medical droid then injected me with a serum and soon I fell asleep.

I was in the darkness. I could feel the cold, the hate and fear. I opened my eyes. I saw a reflection of myself. The fear I'd known was all me.

I saw myself killing the stormtrooper when I was just 3 years old. The fear in my brother his eyes.

I could see all those peoples faces who've I killed, when I was under the influence of the Empire. They were begging. Most of them where only resisting against the Empire, civilians, not agreeing with their reign. Who could blame them. The empire let me kill all those people, just to make sure the galaxy would fear/love them. I was a puppet of the emperor. To do his dirty tasks.

It brought me back to the moment were I killed all the guards in prison, including the prisoners themselves. All there was left was ash. More guards were incoming. They were frozen, didn't know were they were up against.

I turned around and saw Samon. She was in pain. Angry at me for leaving her behind. She reached her hand out, she wanted me to join the Empire again. I refused. She was screaming. She then challenged me to duel. I didn't want to. She grabbed her red lightsaber and attacked me. I transformed myself again and blocked her. Our lightsabers hitting each other. She tried to hurt me. I blocked her and suddenly my lightsaber was in her body. ''NO!'' I screamed.

I then came back on Earth. People doing their things. For one moment I felt peace. That was until I saw danger. The Empire came back. Killing all the civilians with their technologic advancement. Heroes came and fought them, I joined. I saw Samon again. Hurt. ''You...'' She said. ''Look what you've done...'' ''You will suffer like I suffered and the rest of this world will too.''

I felt the anger rising again. I had nothing, everything was taking from me. I saw the heroes, my friends, getting captured. Everything collapsed around me.

Then, I woke up.

I opened my eyes. I looked down and saw that I broke my the iron staffs that were restraining me. Smashed. There were cracks in the bacta tube I was in. I looked to the jedi who were holding me back with the force. I looked frightened at the jedi, afraid I would kill them.

''Education you need'' Yoda said. ''Teach you the way of the light we will.''