Brown eyes

The worried

After the seizure I was lost, I didn't know why bad things kept happening to me the way they were but at that point I wanted to give up. The thing is I knew I couldn't give up I knew I had to keep moving because I would be damned if I let her see how bad her being gone left me.
Everyone worried about me and I didn't care. I only cared about not wanted to live I would constantly think about ending my life, but the real question was would I do it?
A few days later I was woken up from a huge thud in the middle of the night. I jumped from the sound and my heart was racing, I stared at the pitch black basement and sighed "it's always something ain't it?" I said then rolling my eyes. I sat up feeling how cold it was then I picked up my phone "4:42 am of course" I got off my bed feeling my feet touch the cold concrete, it was colder than normal but I shrugged and stood up " what in the hell could be falling in the middle of the damn night bro" I said walking to the stairs.
When I got up the stairs and In the hallway I looked around then I looked all over the house and nothing fell so I sighed and went back downstairs. When I got back downstairs I went and got back in bed and stared at the led lights that I had around my room, "great now I can't sleep" I said sighing.
I finally went to sleep but honestly it felt like it took forever.
The next morning I just felt alone and lost I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to wake up and just deal with my own thoughts, so I did what I could do i put on a little makeup starting with doing my eyebrows then my lashes then ending with a little lip liner and lip gloss. I looked in the mirror and still didn't recognize me the old me that I wanted but I knew I could get back. I missed the old me that could get ready and have fun doing it.