victim// a salvis fanfiction

eleven~ villain's lonesome

~Sal Fisher~

I walk slowly down the abandoned school halls, my finger trailing along the pages of Travis's journal, eyes scanning each word. I hear the foot steps behind me before I hear the voice. "What the fuck was that Sal?"

I don't answer, I only read out in response. "Today Larry and I talked, twice. I think I might have a chance to make things good between us again. I know I don't deserve his friendship, and it's okay with me if he decides to keep his distance. I just want my best friend back." I slam the book shut, the sound echoing through the halls. "What the fuck is that about, Larry?"

I turn to face him, he stands frozen mid-step, the distance between us only a yard or two apart but it's never felt so far. "When did you plan on telling me you and Travis were best buddies, huh? That you snuck behind my back to talk to him?"

"Oh, I don't know, never?" He doesn't take another step forward, keeping us as far apart as he can. "Did it ever occur to you that it wasn't your fucking business? None of Travis's shit was. And it definitely wasn't the business of the whole school either."

I excepted him to explain, tell me it was some misunderstanding. I don't know what made me think that.

"Sal, do you know how fucked up what you did was? What made you think any part of that was okay? I mean- how did you even get his fucking diary?"

I'm silent. I yelled at him for seeing Travis and not telling me and I don't want to embarrass myself by saying I did the same thing.

"Do you even know what his home life is like? God, if the word gets to his father who knows-"

"Did he ever give a shit what our home lives were like?" My breathing is heavy and fast, I'm struggling to keep myself together. "You know what he did to us for years and now I'm the villain for getting a little pay back? Are you goddamn kidding me?"

"Travis never publicly outed one of us by reading out of their diary then shamed them for being gay, and when over fifty kids turned to beat them to a pulp ran away like a coward. Sure he was an asshole, but he was trying to get better but you wouldn't fucking know that because you wouldn't let him speak."

Silence. My head hangs low, I wish Larry couldn't read me so easily. I wish I could forget about the night before, about Travis's apology, his smile, his laugh, his words of encouragement, his hand against mine, him. I want to forget. I want to hate him. I thought if I made him hate me I could hate him too. But I remember the look in his eyes and I know I can never hate him again. He's just trying to be better.

"You knew? Really? How'd you find out?" At this point I'm angry again and I don't care anymore. I just want him to shut up. I want my thoughts to shut up. I just want quiet.

"I went to his house, okay? We had a project together and I went to his house and he said sorry. We talked more, and I left. I went back to grab my jacket and I brought myself a little souvenir," I wave around the stupid journal. "Are you fucking happy now?"

Now he's the silent one. But I'm not lucky, he talks again. "So you knew he wanted to be better, and instead of accepting his apology or telling him to fuck off, you talk to him then steal his journal with I assume his most personal thoughts and then out him after, let me guess, reading the whole thing last night. I mean did you even pay attention to the shit you read? It's you Sal. Travis loves you, not some random guy and you fucking knew that and you stabbed him in the heart. You know that?"

I wish I didn't know that.

"Why are you siding with him?" My voice isn't loud anymore, I wonder if he can even hear it.

"Why the fuck do you think!?" I flinch at his tone, but he doesn't seem to care. "Because he just got publicly humiliated by the guy he's in love with for being in love with him and then that same guy let's him get torn to shreds! You've been out of your mind, Sal."

"No! I've been fucking fine, if anything I've come to my senses! You've always wanted us to ruin Travis's life and I finally agree and do something about it and now you're pissed!"

"How many times do I have to say it, Sal? You outed Travis and you know that's not okay. Out of anyone I expect you to understand how horrible that is, with what happened at your last school. I told you I was by your side and I meant it, but you've gone too fucking far." Larry turns around, taking one step away from me.

"If you take one more step you pick Travis forever. It's me or him, Larry." My callused fingers grip the journal tightly, my heartbeat heavy in my head, echoing in my ears. Please, Larry, please.

I watch his head drop, and I hear the sound of his footsteps echo down the hall. He disappears around the corner.

The journal drops to the ground, my knees following. I stay there for what feels like an eternity, kneeling hopelessly starting down at that stupid fucking journal.

I've lost everything.

But that means now I have nothing to lose.

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today's question: what's your favorite type of weather and why?

early update to make up for the late one :)

sincerely,

ashes <3