victim// a salvis fanfiction

tweleve~ victim's company

~Travis Phelps~

"Travis?"

I don't have to turn to know who it is. I don't address him at all, keeping my gaze on the schoolyard ahead of me. The chills of the cold air surrounding me keep me from crying anymore, each breath of freezing air burns ruthlessly at my sore lungs.

"Are you okay?"

I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my arms across them, laying my head on my arms. I don't want to lie to him, but I don't want him to see me so upset again so I don't answer. Instead, I try to hold back the tears that threaten to resurface each time I think of Sal.

Larry sits next to me, looking out at the yard ahead. "Pretty, don't ya think?" I glance over at him, his cheeks are puffy and his eyes are bloodshot. But his tone is calm, relaxed. I wish I was as good at hiding my emotions as he is.

I look back out at the view, the clouds are dark and thick, blocking almost any chance of sunlight shining through. This type of weather always made me feel dismal, but Larry never liked the sun because he said it was too bright. I nod in agreement for his sake.

He's quiet for a moment, trying to decide what to say. His question is almost as quiet as his silence, "Do you hate him?"

I know who he's talking about, and I don't have to think about it to answer. "No. I deserved it."

His hand falls on my shoulder and it takes everything in me not to wince. "Travis, you were an asshole, you know that. But you don't want to be anymore, you're trying to change. Even if you were still caught up in your old ways, you wouldn't have deserved that. I know what's at risk for you, and I know how much Sal hurt you."

"I thought I had a chance. With you, with him. Even if he'd never love me back, I thought that maybe, just maybe, we could be friends. It was foolish thinking and I know that. I just..."

"You have me, Travis." I hear a shake in his voice for the first time, "But no one has Sal anymore."

"What- What do you mean?" I feel my heart drop. Is Sal okay? Did I do something wrong?

"We uhm, we had a fight." I've never heard his voice so quiet. "We've never done that before. He found out we were friends and that I talked to you yesterday without telling him about it but I told him it wasn't his business. I got really mad at him for what he did to you. He wouldn't listen to me, he just got angrier and angrier. He was scaring me. I turned to leave and he told me it was you or him and if I took another step I was leaving him forever and I... I walked away from my best friend."

Larry manages to keep it together until the last sentence, but then he cracks. Tears pouring out of him hopelessly. I reach out to comfort him but he suddenly jumps up, running down the steps hastily between sobs. He stands at the foot on the stairs, gasping for air and wrapping his arms around himself. He stays quiet, seemingly claiming down. I don't know what to say.

A scream tears through the silence as the first of the snow begins to fall. Larry stands with his head to the sky, screaming desperately into the void of snow and broken silence. I watch as he falls to his knees, arms falling to his sides, screams turning to sobs once more in the vast emptiness surrounding us.

Sal lost everyone, yes, but Larry lost the only person he wanted to keep.

I don't hesitate to run to him, I know I'm not who he wants, but I have to try. As soon as I make it to him he stands and hugs me, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I haven't been hugged in so long.

As soon as he's calm again he lets go of me, walking back over to the steps and sitting in the same spot he had been. "You can't love Sal, Travis." He looks up at me, all evidence had ever cried completely gone, replaced with a look I can't describe.

"What do you mean?" I sit next to him, fighting the urge to lean against him for warmth. Instead I hug myself and take slow, shallow breaths. My lungs screaming at the searing pain of the frigid air.

"Sal's not himself anymore. He's dangerous. He's aggressive. He's hurt and he won't let anyone help him because he swears he doesn't need it. I tried to warn you. Sal's long gone, and I don't know if we'll ever get him back." Larry is grim, staring blankly into the distance. "You have to accept that, Travis. You can't love Sal if he's going to be this way. It'll kill you."

"We can't just give up on him." Now I'm crying, and I bet I look pathetic doing it but I can't stop. I jump up, hoping moving around will calm my nerves. "We can't give up on Sal, Larry. He- he just needs some guidance. He's still a good guy. He's still himself he's just lost." I pace back and forth, the tears clouding my vision as I stare at my hands. "He's just lost, we can help him find himself."

"Travis, it's too late."

"No!" I stop in my tracks, "It's not too late! God, how could you say that? Sal is- he's- he's Sal, okay? He plays guitar and the first song he learned was Killer Queen because it was his father's favorite and it made him smile. He chose his cat from a kill shelter because Gizmo was supposed to die that day and Sal couldn't stand the thought of it. He- he only stood up to me and all my bullshit whenever I would try to pick on one of his friends because he cares more about them than himself. Sal isn't some monster and it isn't too late for him. We just have to keep trying."

I sit in the snow, the cold burning into my skin. I won't give up on Sal like I gave up on myself.

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heyo! today's question: what are your current favorite songs?

sincerely,

ashes <3