Hey everyone,
Thank you for all of the love and support on my work even when I was on hiatus, I appreciate all of you! I hope that the past seven months were good to you.
When I decided to go on hiatus I sort of knew that I wasn't going to update again, but I just couldn't bring myself to finish this and leave the site forever.
I started watching Z Nation in a very difficult time in my life and I loved it so much. It felt so good to escape my life and problems with a good show that made me laugh and glow. It also felt good to write my little concepts and scenarios about the show and to share it with you all! I have loved writing since I was little and it helped me to develop my writing and feel comfortable with sharing my creations.
But I didn't know that everybody would like it so much! I was so shocked when I got one read and now to see the many notifications with comments and votes and reads from you all is so surreal! Thank you for supporting me and sharing your thoughts and fangirl moments with me. I feel like this has been a community for me and I am forever grateful for your support and feedback. I am so grateful for you!
I enjoyed writing this book but then I realised that it was starting to take over my life and I wasn't living in the real world. I would stay up late and miss portions of my life to write these stories and live in my little dream world where everything was perfect and scripted. I thought it was easier than having to live real life, which was messy and difficult. However, it also wasn't good for me to constantly live in a daydream. I was anxious and depressed and kept putting things on hold to live in my daydream. I missed moments with my friends and family and spent days of my life wishing to be in my 'perfect' world instead. I had no idea that what I longed for was in my real life, too.
Since going on hiatus I have: made many new friends, made many new memories with my friends and family, played my dream sport, found the career path that I am truly passionate about completing, got a job and a volunteer position for things that I am passionate about, gotten a close group of friends, fixed some of my chronic pain, found out what my health issues are and started lifestyle changes, focused on self-care such as journaling, meditation and yoga, been on many road trips, baked many things, developed my writing style, read lots of books, found a boyfriend (!!) and had lots and lots of laughs.
Fanfiction made me happy, but it also distracted me from the things that matter. It made me feel warm inside and grateful to have a place in my mind that I could go to distract me from life, where it was perfect and shiny. But it also made me miss lots of those moments within my own life. And sometimes I miss reading and writing it because of how comfortable it is, but then I remember that growth isn't comfortable. My life may be difficult and uncomfortable but it is my own and it is my reality. Just remember this, I know how good it feels but it may be hurting you more.
Anyway, the point of this is that I have discovered that I no longer need fanfiction and this book to make me smile. I am grateful for the happiness that fanfiction brought me. But now it's time. I now know that I am ready to be finished with this book and this account.
Thank you once again for all of your support and love. Thank you for the feedback and for taking time to read something from the brain of little old me. I won't forget you! I wish you all of the best for 2022 and for the rest of your lives. May you find peace, happiness and love in whatever way you choose. I love you.
And I guess that's that. Time to grow up and continue to try make my dreams come true. Time to enjoy another day in my perfectly messy and stressful reality.
Thank you for reading.
Love you all xx :)
~ this book is now finished ~
