SamLy | A collection of short stories |

Won't go home without you

"I asked her to stay
But she wouldn't listen
And she left before I had the chance to say, oh
The words that would mend
The things that were broken
But now it's far too late, she's gone away"

"Pagod na ako Sam, pagod na akong intindihin ka. Pagod na akong mahalin ka. Fighting you has worn out my heart."

I'll never forget Alyssa's parting words to me before she eventually left me. Nage-echo ito ng paulit ulit sa utak ko.

I can't believe we've found ourselves in this predicament. I was so naive that I assumed Alyssa couldn't leave me because she loved me, but I was wrong. My Alyssa couldn't take it anymore.

I hugged Alyssa's pillow, which was close to me. As a human, I feel incomplete. When Alyssa departed and never returned, I felt like half of my life was lost.

"Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that"

Akala ko nung unang gabi ay babalik pa siya, pero 1 week na ang nakakalipas pero wala paring Alyssa ang bumalik sakin.

She was mad of me, how could she return if I had wounded her almost as frequently as I had made Alyssa happy? In the four years we had been together?

I take her for granted, she doesn't deserve me, but I can't risk losing Alyssa totally. Now I'm more certain that I truly love her, and I'm simply blinded by the fact that Alyssa can forgive me again and over for everything I can do with her, since Alyssa is also blinded by her love for me.

"It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you"

I tried calling her, but her number was disconnected. I also disguised my face in an attempt to speak with her closest friend, despite the fact that I knew she was furious with me for what I had done to her peer, but even she had no idea where Alyssa was and couldn't communicate with her.

If I beg for another chance to get along with Alyssa, I'll end up with a really thick face. I basically try to make fun of myself. Really, I'm an idiot. Why did it take me so long to understand that I can't afford to lose her now that she's thought deeply and realized she deserves more?

Sabi nga nila, once is plenty, twice is excessive, and three times is a lethal poison. To summarize, this is the third time Alyssa has forgiven and loved me as if I had done nothing wrong. Alyssa's heart was pure and genuine, but I had polluted it with my own agony and loss.

"The taste of her breath
I'll never get over
The noises that you made kept me awake
Oh
The weight of the things that remained unspoken
Built up so much it crushed us everyday"

I can't think of a good enough excuse for me to cheat on Alyssa. I'm a complete moron. I had the difficulty, and it was incorrect since I was able to deceive her repeatedly. I'm willing to give up my short-term happiness in exchange for a lifetime of glamour with Alyssa.

I placed the pillow I had embraced earlier on my face and vented my thoughts and emotions there. It's only natural that I'm in pain right now; it's nothing compared to the suffering I inflicted on Alyssa.

I wouldn't know what I'd do with my life if she couldn't afford to give me another hope, a final chance. I feel as though I'm out of breath right now.