Him | k.sj.

.3

The rain fell harder than I've ever heard it or because I seemed more in tuned to it. I lied in bed, listening, attempting to relax after a long day of work. Memories played over and over in my head of Seokjin. I texted him when I returned from my birthday dinner, but didn't expect a response. I wanted him to know how grateful I am for him. It's been days since, and he's returning soon to Seoul.

When it rained, I missed him the most. Perhaps reason being when I met him for the first time at the network, it rained. My first visit to the company he worked for it rained as well. Our first kiss was the sun which brighten another damped day. This memory lingered more.

"I don't think your girlfriend would approve of you telling me I'm beautiful." I teased, hoping to ease the tension in our moment, but it didn't work. The glare in Seokjin's eyes only made my heart beat faster. Quicker. A subtle smile grazed his lips.

"She doesn't belong in our moment." He uttered. A coldness clinging to the rasp of his voice.

My heart sped more, and I was too afraid to ask what he meant. As he reached me, his gaze lowered to my hair before he leaned closer and pressed his lips to my neck. A stuttered breath echoed from my lips as I watched him in the mirror.

His hands rested on my shoulder while my neck tilted left. Eyes closing with every stroke of his lips against my skin sent trembles racing through me. Seokjin's piquant lips brushed against my neck, easing to my ear. "So beautiful," he uttered.

The feelings I held for him increased the tension growing tighter in my chest. This was a moment. An opportunity to show him he wasn't alone. Especially after the countless nights of him wondering. I turned to him, swallowing my fear and facing it all in the same. My gaze drifted to his lips and before I could make another move, he took my lips for a kiss.

The tear falling over the bridge of my nose, underneath my other eye, tickled my skin, but I didn't budge. Though the rain reminded me of my friend, it also prodded the misery I feel from letting him slip away. It always hurts as if it's the first time, and every time after.

I probably wouldn't feel this way if I didn't have a run in with his ex girlfriend. There are a few times of year when our paths would cross, comeback season is the biggest time. Though she's never confronted me, she's given me glares and fake smiles. She's aware of my friendship with Seokjin, and didn't care for the knowledge.

Because their group was my assignment, she found it amusing, spouting bits of gossip to her girls about him. Typically, idols wouldn't do this because they coveted their privacy, but she was all for spite. I was the only one around and she knew I understood every word she said. She referred to Seokjin as 'him', but it's obvious who she meant. After their set, and I escorted them to their area, she spoke about how she referenced him with a gesture. The girls giggled, and I ignored it, praying for my day to end quickly.

Now here I am, sulking, along with the rain.

I turned Seokjin down. I ran away from him when he poured his heart to me. The act which led to him deciding for us, about us.

"Maybe we moved a little too fast. I know I scared you with what I said, and I meant it, but you're not ready and I need to respect you. You're one of my best friends, Zee, and I don't want to lose you. Please tell me nothing will change with us."

Everything in my heart told me to reverse his action, but my head wouldn't allow me to. Still afraid, I allowed myself to follow along. I figured this would be easier than getting hurt. It only made the pain deeper.

I'm in love with Seokjin and I'm a fool for not telling him.

I know this moment will pass. The weather got me in my feelings and as soon as the sun shined, I'll be fine again. I'll pretend everything is okay and Seokjin and I are the bestest of friends. Even if his ex tried to taunt me about them communicating again, it's really none of my business. He's a free man and can talk to anyone he wanted, even if it was someone as toxic as she. I told myself I wouldn't get involved and I'm sticking to it.

My stomach rumbled in a furious growl, making me release the clutches of my pillow. I lifted from it, wiping the tears from my face and fluffing my bed ridden hair. Dragging my feet toward my kitchen, there was a ringing of my doorbell. "Who is it?" I called.

"The food fairy," the voice on the other end answered.

My heart leaped in my shoes, hearing Seokjin's voice on the other end. I bit down on my lip and answered the door.

Seokjin lifted his head, greeting me with a wide smile, but my thoughts were too tired to return the same. He realized this. "Zee, what's wrong?" He rushed inside as I backed away from the door. Seokjin's scent wafted around me the closer he got. All of my senses drowned in his aura and I became drunk with everything involving him. The way his hair swayed above his eyes, and his succulent lips parting in worry.

My vision grew hazy, and I leaned against the cool wall. "Zee?" Seokjin called again-this time his hand rested on my waist and he leaned in closer. I took a breath and my vision became clearer. Seokjin became clearer.

Seokjin lifted his arm above me. "I shouldn't be this close to you. It makes me want things." His voice a sexy rasp laden with lust, causing my heart to swell at the sensuous aura sweeping us.

My gaze fluttered to him as he inched closer. "What things?" I breathed.

Seokjin fingers caressed my cheek. "Kissing things," he murmured. "Perhaps other things," he added.

My hand lifted to his waist, gripping on his lightweight jacket he wore. I didn't wait for him to make the move. I made it for him. Hesitating at first, I leaned in, taking his lips for a kiss, and extracted another wound in my heart.

↣ ♡ ↢

↣ ♡𝒸𝓊𝓅𝒾𝒹♡ ↢