Him | k.sj.

.6

The day of their comeback arrived, and the network was a madhouse. I did everything I could to keep me as far away from being seen by any of them. I wouldn't even work the floor, but stayed behind in the screen room and watched everything from there. Seunga text me, fangirling during every performance. Her enthusiasm made me smile, and it was this simple gesture keeping me pleasant for the day.

I couldn't get my argument with Seokjin off my mind. We've argued before, usually over silly things like his jealousy last year, but this was different. It felt different. His tone belittled me and it seemed as if a love of my life were slipping away. It was unsettling. Brash. He's never spoke to me that way and every time I thought about it, I winced in pain.

"Don't leave like this, Jin, please."

"You made it like this."

The sadness in his eyes haunted me every waking moment. It was foolish of what I said. Seokjin could never be a mistake and I didn't mean it the way it sounded. This can't be all my fault. We both share the blame of allowing our emotions to get the better of us and not being honest with ourselves. Though I fear Seokjin's goodbye was honest, crushing any chance-I had to make this better.

"Zee, are you well?" My co-worker asked.

"Yeah," I answered, quick, with a bright smile on my face.

"You're zoned out." He grinned, peering at the screen while the guys were performing. "You have a boy band crush?" He teased.

"No," I answered. I wanted to elaborate more, but it wouldn't probably make me seemed more guilty than I sounded. "They are pretty good, though." I recovered. In that moment, the necklace I wore tickled my neck, and I mindlessly adjusted it without showing the charm. I guess the universe was warning me about my lie. What I have is more than a crush, and it's only with one boy.

"Yeah, they're cool." My co-worker went on. "I met a few of them here. We have the best jobs, right?"

"It's an interesting job, for sure." I smiled and noticed the camera fading before a commercial appeared. "I guess that's my cue. You can find me in editing till the end of my shift, okay?" I stood up from my chair and exited the screen room.

If I were to avoid a run in with him while they exited the stage and back to their dressing room, I had to be stealth about this. The hallway to editing coincides with the hallway where I might run into them. However, so many people gathered around them making it hard to blend in and get to where I needed to go.

I huffed, gathering my courage so I wouldn't be a coward, and took a deep breath before joining in with the hall traffic. I was so close until Yoongi spotted me, causing the others to look my way. Shit.

My gaze automatically locked into Seokjin's as if our eyes were magnets to each other. He turned away, but not before glaring at me. I spoke to everyone, but tried not to make so much of a spectacle. They needed to get changed, and I needed to get to editing. They are always polite and take time to speak even if they are too busy to breathe-a humbling group of men they are.

Yoongi pulled me aside. I knew what he would say. He's probably the one who knew most about Seokjin and I. "You okay?" He asked in a cute English accent. I nodded to him, but the pull of tears wanting to burst through was hard to fight. I managed. Yoongi then recited something to me. I understood, but unsure sure what he meant. "Happy belated birthday," he smiled.

"Thank you, Yoongi. See you later, okay?"

"Okay," he grinned and waved goodbye.

The second I gathered myself to proceed to the editing room, I received another text from Seunga, noting they were going out later and asked if I wanted to join in. I declined politely and told her I had some errands I needed to take care of, which bared a half truth. I didn't want to be social and they would probably get together and talk about today's comeback and I didn't want to engage. Perhaps I should invest in a pet during times like this.

The look he gave me was even worse than the one he left me with. I don't like the tension eating away at us. It drove me crazy last year and now doing the same again. Why are things so complicated with us? My necklace shifted around my neck again, and this time I lifted it from underneath my shirt. The charm sat between my thumbs while reminiscing on the night he gave it to me.

"I had this custom made for you. Wear it and think of me while I'm away. This way, I'm always with you."

He's doors away from me, but it seemed like oceans. Our intimacy may have started for the wrong reasons, but the right feelings were involved. A tear trickled down my cheek and onto the keyboard of the station where I sat. Lucky for me, the next person in the room was a few computers over, so they didn't witness my pity. I have to stop this. I have to get over Seokjin.

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↣ ♡𝒸𝓊𝓅𝒾𝒹♡ ↢