F⃨a⃨l⃨l⃨i⃨n⃨g⃨ S⃨e⃨c⃨r⃨e⃨t⃨l⃨y⃨ D⃨e⃨e⃨p⃨

26. Jessie

It was around 6:30pm when I got home.

Everybody was still downstairs.

My head so dizzy and foggy as his lips still exploded on my neck.

I'm not like that.
I'm not like that.
I'm not like that.

I sneaked inside not trying to remind my brother and Dayven that I'm home and ready to get murdered because they probably still haven't forgotten about what I did earlier.

I can't even begin to imagine what would happen if I told them exactly what happened in those few hours.

My legs trembling as I took the stairs quietly.

Half my attention was to being quiet and half was not even in the house.

My hands grabbed the browned colored poll as I pulled myself up the stairs. Not daring to look down.

I went upstairs real fast trynna get into my room as soon as possible.

I put my backpack down next to my desk as my legs refused to move.

My eyes landed on my white sheets and the white pillows on my bed.

I feel her so much. It's like she's around me to just bother me today. Like she didn't like whatever she saw at Mason's house.

.......I'm sorry I couldn't save you from them.

My eyes sting as they grabbed my backpack again. Holding it tight to my chest as I couldn't breathe from all the memories.

A panic attack started calling from seconds ago as my mind wasn't in my control anymore.

I told everybody they stopped. I told my parents the nightmares stopped, as well as the panic attacks.

I told them that to stop treating me like how Mason did today. Like a stick that is made to treat very carefully.

Petty.

The backpack got squeezed in my arms as my eyes got into darkness. My legs trembling but I still stood right there. Right beside my desk.

Her image came right up. Covering my dark eyelids. Making it hard to contain my tears.

Her green eyes staring right back at me as her brown fall hair fell across her face.

She was wearing her blue flower earrings as her smile got so wide I almost dropped to the ground.

She looked not a day different from the last time I saw her.

Her pearling white teeth giving warmth to my heart just the moment I wished she was there.

Just to stop my legs from breaking every moment.

I couldn't contain the tears as they fell like a waterfall. Trying to be quiet as I slipped through the mountains of air.

As her smile kept her on.. she tried to reach me. Her hand raising up as she curiously came closer.

She smiled so innocently I couldn't keep it together anymore.

'I'm sorry' I mouthed to her. Her eyebrows frowned together as she backed away.

I couldn't see her get away. I couldn't bare it. I opened my eyes as her frowning eyes were locked in mine.

To my right was my mirror as it was the worst moment to look into.

My cheeks wet as rain. My eyes so red I could barely notice the navy blue in them. My chest so heavy, so heavy I couldn't barely left it up for air.