Nights Like This

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Lie

Nakatulugan ko na ang pag-iyak. When morning rolled in, my eyes are sore and I have no energy to get up. If it hadn't been for work, I'd probably just stay in bed and be sad. Pero kailangan kong bumangon at magtrabaho.

Nang makapag-ayos ay bumaba na ako. I was ushered by one househelp to the dining area. I was weirded out because I didn't ask for breakfast. My plan was to just get coffee and start my exhausting day.

Halos mapaatras ako nang makita kung sinu-sino ang naghihintay sa akin sa hapag. Mama saw me first and she gave me a look I couldn't quite discern. Hindi ko alam kung puno ba iyon ng pag-aalala o awa. Throw guilt in the mix too because her eyes look softer than usual. Kung wala lang si Papa at Rex Niccolo, inirapan ko na siya. She just can't choose which attitude to give me, can she?

"Good morning, Bobbi," Papa greeted and motioned me to sit down.

I muttered a low curse. Judging by the air in the dining room, I can tell that Mama hasn't told Papa and Rex that we fought last night. She also didn't seem to mention that I already knew everything about what she did to my relationship — that it is founded on a stupid request.

"I invited Rex so we could all have breakfast together," Mama said and smiled. I swear to God. She's so fake right now that I want to barf. Paano niya kaya kinakaya na pakitunguhan ako ng ganito?

But... even if I have a strained relationship with Mama, I easily believe her. If she says she just asked Rex Niccolo to pursue me, I believe it. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why I easily believe the person who, for the most part, doesn't believe in me is beyond my comprehension.

I didn't say a thing to Papa and just sat on the chair he wanted me to sit in. Sa tabi ni Rex Niccolo...

I thought about us last night. I drilled into my mind the possibility that everything between us was just a lie. Everything wasn't real and just an act. Lahat para lang paunlakan ang hiling ni Mama.

I got rid of the belief that I had on him. Honestly, it was quite scary how quick I was able to do that. Walang pag-aalinlangan kong napilit ang sarili na alisin ang paniniwala sa kanya. Mabilis kong nabago ang tingin sa kanya. Although, the love I have for him... I'm sure that is hard to get rid of. I can't do it overnight.

I'm hurting deeply just thinking about it. Pero ayoko rin na pangunahan ng emosyon. Sure, I'm filled with pain and hatred but I don't want to just burst and make things worse. Kaya naman kinumbinsi ko ang sarili na manahimik na lang muna at pahupain ang matinding emosyon.

In time, I'll confront everyone involved and draw decisions from there. Right now, I just need to keep up with this false relationship and hopefully be done with it soon.

"Good morning. You had a good sleep?" Rex whispered to me.

I almost pushed him away. Buti na lang napigilan ko agad ang sarili.

"Yeah," I lied.

Fuck a good night's sleep. I had a nightmare.

He stared at me, reading my expression. He's always been good at it so I averted my gaze. Tinuon ko na lang iyon sa nakahandang pagkain sa harap. His stares lingered for a while before proceeding to put food on my plate.

Mama was staring at us. Sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin kaya napaiwas siya. She glanced once more and I raised my brow at her. Alam ko kasi na titingin siya ulit kaya hinintay ko bago bumitaw sa tingin sa kanya.

"How's the project going, anak? I heard your team ran into some problems with the design?" Papa asked, unaware of what's happening at the table.

He really doesn't know it yet, huh? He can't feel the tension between Mama and I? He can't see the hard looks I'm giving her and the apologetic ones she's showing in exchange?