Nights Like This

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Hugs

I think for the most part, I've shouldered all of my family problems alone. I never talked about it deeply with any of my friends. I don't voluntarily open up about it with Kuya Nikko. 'Tsaka lang kapag pinipilit niya na pag-usapan. With Rex Niccolo, he has an idea but he doesn't really get himself involved. He knows how strained my relationship with my parents is but he doesn't force me to fix it up.

I've always appreciated that. The way he doesn't interfere because he knows only I could act on it. But what he said months ago, when he's about to leave for his flight back to Singapore, kept on haunting me.

"I don't have the right to tell you what to do but if the problems you had with your parents are weighing heavily in your heart, I think it's best if you talk to them about it."

I remember abruptly saying no to his suggestion.

"No, thanks. I like the peace that I have without them in my life."

"You're not at peace. You're running away."

"Uh, obviously? I don't want to see them."

Then I realized how I just proved his point with what I said.

I've dealt with fights with my parents long enough for me to master the art of just throwing it away at the back of my mind. But for reasons I couldn't even think of, it wouldn't completely go away. Kung hindi ko iniisip, naiipon naman ang sama ng loob at galit sa puso.

Tama si Rex Niccolo. Lahat ng mga naging problema ko sa mga magulang, mabigat sa puso. I may put up a facade but some fights scarred me. And it's not shallow at all. Some are too deep that I genuinely believe it will take everything of me to forget about it.

Mahirap makalimot pero sinubukan kong magpatawad. It will take time but time is all I wanted it to take. Not my sanity. Not my peace. Just time.

I'm not going to force myself but I'll surely try to get there. Kuya Mikael suggested that I spend the holidays this year with my parents. A vacation overseas. Pinag-iisipan ko pa kung papayag ba ako. I can co-exist but I'm not sure if I'll be a great companion.

"You'll pick up Rex Uvero at the airport?" Ethan asked.

"Yup."

We just finished our lunch. For some reason, he keeps on dragging me to have lunch with him. Tinanong ko nga kung may gusto ba siya ulit sa akin pero masamang tingin lang ang natanggap ko. I meant it as a joke but he was too sensitive about it.

"You two are back together?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. It's complicated. For Rex Niccolo, we never broke up. Para sa akin naman, oo. One thing is for sure, though. When he comes back, we'll finally talk. I waited because it's really not an over the phone conversation. Ganoon din para sa kanya. Although during the months we were apart, he never made me feel like I was sidelined in his life. I'm still invariably included.

"It's cool, Bob. You two are weird but you definitely belong to him," aniya nang lumipas ang isang minuto at wala pa rin akong sagot.

"Huh?"

He chuckled. "You can't tell? Are you even aware of the long list of guys you've turned down this past year?"

"What are you on about?"

"Wala lang. I just think that's the reason why you didn't entertain anybody. You're only for Rex Uvero."

Napaisip ako.

Huh. That may actually be the accurate reason. I wasn't interested in anyone after Rex Niccolo. And even if I was, who would measure up to him? He set the standards way too high. I don't think anyone could ever top or exceed that.