all. my. fault. - genshin angst

thank you. (chiscara)

// death

Lumine called upon the first pair in group four. It was time for the games to begin.  Ajax looked over to Scaramouche, after giving in and pairing up with him. Ajax tried so hard to not be with him, even if he loved Scaramouche. Pairing up meant death, for either one of them. There was only one outcome. One of them had to die. Ajax mouths some words to Scaramouche. 'Can I speak to you? Privately'. Ajax walked over to Scaramouche and took him by the hand, leading him into a corner.

"What are you choosing?"

"What do you mean what am I choosing?"

"For the game."

"Look, you know I love you.. but I really can't trust you.."

"I.. understand. Then please, choose what I tell you to."

"Ajax..."

Ajax leans over Scaramouche's shoulder, down to his neck. Other people were looking at them. He had to make it less suspicious. He whispers into Scaramouche's ear, indicating what he wants him to do.

"Choose rock, paper, and rock. Trust me, please, love."

Scaramouche sighs to calm himself down. Neither of them could handle the pressure. Both knowing that one of them was going to die, it racked up their nerves. Scaramouche glances over to the wall so that he doesn't have to face Ajax.

"I.. alright."

"Promise me, alright?"

"I promise."

Ajax looked up to the roof, holding back tears. He knew what he had to do. Scaramouche clinged to Ajax around his hips, stuffing his face in Ajax's chest. Ajax could feal the tears falling from Scaramouche's face.

"Let's just.. sit here for a while. Wait for the others to finish."

Ajax sat down and held Scaramouche in his arms. He started to play with Scaramouches soft hair.  Everything was so quiet, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop.  Everyone was busy figuring out a way to survive. All that Ajax wanted to do was be with Scaramouche, if it's the last thing he does. Scaramouche wanted Ajax to live, but he didn't know his plan. At this point, reminiscing was all they could do. Memories, the good ones.

"Remember when we first met.. how i always flirted with you.."

Scaramouche choked up. He couldn't bear the pain of the memories that were about to be lost. Usually Scaramouche doesn't feel emotions. That is, until he met Ajax. Everything was still so new to him. Love, happiness, warmth. It'll all be gone soon enough. His happiness, the love for Ajax, the warm hugs he gets every morning.  He didn't want to go cold again. He was finally becoming the better person that he wanted to be.

"That was the first time that I had ever felt nice. Happy."

Ajax chuckles at the thought of the fun memories the two had, but time was running out. They chatted for quite a while. Ajax made sure that Scaramouche was happy for the last moments that they had together. He didn't want Scaramouche to remember their last moments as "sad" or "unhappy". That's not how Ajax wanted to go.

A speaker from above had finally announced that group three was done. It was finally their time.

" Group four, please enter the rooms. "

Scaramouche and Ajax got up from their position. They held hands while walking towards the room. Both of them prepared for the worst. There were 2 separate rooms with a seat and a desk. Ajax and Scaramouche went to sit in the separate rooms. A small cover was put in front of the paper card that they were both given so that they both couldn't see what they wrote. The speakerphone turned on once again to tell the both of them to start writing.

Ajax looked at his paper, and the looked at Scaramouche. Scaramouche had his head down, writing on the paper. Ajax sighed and put down his answers. In the end, whoever had the most points won. Ajax submitted his first answer right after Scaramouche did.

"First point goes to... Scaramouche."

This shook Scaramouche, but not enough. There were still two chances. Ajax could be tricking him for all he knows. Time felt like it went on forever. They both submitted their papers again, waiting for an answer.

"Second point goes to...Ajax."

Ajax had to give up a point.. to make sure that Scaramouche wouldn't change what he's doing. They both take the time to write down the final answer. Right before the speaker announced who the point went to, it asked if there was any final words that wanted to be exchanged. Ajax looked up to Scaramouche, only to see him with flooding tears. Ajax took a big sigh, and decided that what has to be said, has to be said.

"I want you to know that I love you so much. You're so amazing. Everything we did together was a memory to remember. You make me so happy, every day. I can never wait for you to come home without jumping up with excitement when you open the door. You are the light in my life that helped brighten me up. Being with you was such a different experience for me that it was a one in a life time chance. I'm happy that I got to meet you, and that of all people to love, you chose me.  When I laid eyes on you, it was like love at first sight. I really don't know how I got so lucky, and hit the jackpot. I love you, truly."

Scaramouche couldn't help but cry out loud. This was all too much to bear. There was a future that he wanted with Ajax.  Everything came to an end. The road was no longer visible. Nothing could be said to prevent death. Scaramouche finally knew. Ajax only told him to choose certain things.. so that Ajax could sacrifice himself. Scaramouche shook and held his head violently. The speakerphone finally announced who the point went to.

"The final point.. goes to Scaramouche."

Scaramouche screamed so loud that everybody could hear him. The door to heaven was here. Scaramouche had to move on by himself, the journey was no longer "together". It was now "alone". Everything came back to him in a flash. The sadness, no emotion, the pain, the suffering. He couldn't escape it. What did this mean? Why did this happen? How.. did this happen? All Scaramouche could think of is 'i don't want to lose you... not like the others..' . 

"Thank you, Scaramouche."