right journey, But wrong destination

chapter three

I was having one of those depressing days and I had nobody to talk to, I thought about calling marc but it's just way too much right? I don't want to end up heartbroken again.

I took a long run, so fast I could barely feel my legs by now, but I consider running way better than alcohol or any other depress-treatment kind of way. marc and I were never the serious couples, we were never all over each other, well maybe sometimes but it was just for fun, well for him it was, but for me it was a whole other thing, I mixture between love and pleasure, I loved him so much, and being near him was always a pleasure. No dirty thoughts I promise!

I came back home so tired I couldn't even feel my own legs... I tried calling every number my phone saved the wedding day several times but nobody answers. I was in a really bad situation but I called and called.

That's the weird part, even though I know nobody is there, I'm still calling.

1 month later

I was packing my bags again, this time, I'm coming back for sure but I decided to keep it as a surprise. Traffic was terrible but I finally managed to be on time and 3 hours later I was in the plane coming back to Nashville.

When I arrived at Nashville airport I saw a tweet by Zoe, one of the squad, they are hanging tonight at Leo's house, Katherine's brother, so I decided to take my bags and go there.
Looking at the road on my own, I realized how much I missed, even the roads are changing, many buildings were coming up, and many of them going down.
Just like every human in the far future. I was wondering how everyone will welcome me, but I was really excited for seeing marc, it's been a long long time, I think he grew a beard or something; he'd look so damn good in one. After all, he'd look good in my grandma's wedding dress.

Thank god the road was easy because the next thing you'll hear won't be.
By the time I arrived to the house everybody was there, I was still dreaming of my big entrance and how everybody will jump from joy when they'll see me but of course, that wasn't quite the scenario.

I've been disappointed a lot in my life but this one was the killer. The moment I entered everybody was surprised, but not the kind of surprise I wanted to bring.
The moment I stepped in the fire spot, everybody was shocked, pale faces were all around the room and all I can hear is the sound of chocking and I think, the sound of a giggle but I can't seem to recognize it, a new member maybe?
It was quite for so long, I think the time has stopped for a second, was I supposed to say something, good evening maybe? I had no idea what to do.
I felt my legs freezing, this is not supposed to happen, I expected a lot, but never this.
Well I should have but I didn't, I didn't want to.
Finally someone cleared his throat
"oh look, there's the party ruiner, came here for some pities?"
Who the hell is this? I can't recognize this freaky voice but I know I've heard it before, but not so many times
I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell that stupid voice to shut up, and that I never want any pities. I wanted to say that this is not worth the madness but I didn't.
All I did is humming trying to figure out when the joke will be over and when somebody will jump and say here she is, and we'll spend the night drinking beer and playing the music and listening to marc jamming but all of that made my position even more awkward.
I turned around and saw marc, pale faced looking at me and not even blinking, I waited him, like forever, but he didn't make any move, not even smiled or said hello. My god what have I done?
after a while of awkward silence, I thought that the best idea is for me to leave, I turned around again and walked to the exit of the garden, i knew nobody will follow me, but deep down I wished somebody would, a specific somebody, but there was nothing, not even a single word.

I was walking down the street in the cold evening wearing my coat and my bag, really tired, but I had no car.
I spotted my house few minutes later but I felt weird, like I've been punched right in my stomach, I didn't want to go inside that house.
so I decided to walk a little more and finally I was standing in front of Mrs. Hamsworf door
a rang the bell over and over but nobody answered so I thought she might be sleeping

the moment I stepped off her porch, the door opened up a little bit, silently and slowly, I turned around and there she is
wearing her pink pajama , she looks so old and...tired
when our eyes met she opened the door and called my name
"oh my...Angelina"
I Ran to her and hugged her putting all my scars, all my thoughts and all my tears away
she was my only family.

After that night I calmed down a bit, we spent the night talking in her bed, she was so tired and sometimes, not able to breath.
She said some great words last night.
The next morning I was sitting alone drinking coffee, my hands still shaking from last night's event and from all the overwhelming thoughts.
I stared at the wall in front of me try to memorize every single thing she said
"people will hate, your friends will leave, but it's how strong you stand that makes you who you are.
Life is a lonely journey, maybe right now you won't understand but when you grow up, you will realize that you can share anything in this world, except for your pain, because nobody will take your illness away."
I have tried not to cry so many times but as long as I'm thinking, I can't stop the tears away
"life is never fair, it's never about positivity, in fact life is always negative and it's your choice, either you stay positive and stick to life or you stay negative so you will never get along with it. It's like a magnet
never waste too much time on hating people, and when you're in doubts, just take the next step.
But the one and most important thing, always make sure to make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. You either Get busy living, or get busy dying."
I didn't really understand all of what she said, but I'm trying to take in as much as I can.
Mrs. Hamsworf or Linda, suffered a lot in her life, but even after what she's been through, she was still beautiful
her blond short her flying over her shoulders, her dark ocean blue eyes always full of life and knowledge.
I always have her, even when I don't, I do.
After breakfast I decided to take a long run. I gave Mrs. Hamsworf a kiss and went.
It was like digging through what we call history, every single inche of this town meant something to me
I tried re-thinking about Mrs. Hamsworf's speech yesterday, it was hard, it's like she was reading my mind. Somehow she made me feel better; and somehow she was better too.
My body was draining in sweat and the wind started blowing so I decided to come back home and take a warm shower. On my way back, I passed by Katherine's house, or May I say, her old one.
I didn't quite understand why she moved to another place lone but it's like 2 blocks away from her parents' house.
I guess some people take liberty in a very serious way. I
When I came back, the street was very crowded, what the hell is going on?
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