right journey, But wrong destination

chapter one

I was sitting in my bedroom alone, of course. Waiting for responds from some universities I applied for. I was wasting my time too much on this laptop while I'm supposed to be organizing our night. They are coming to hang out beside the fire in my backyard as usual. So I left my room but the moment I stepped outside I heard something that made my heart skip a beat, I jumped on my bed and opened the email and what a surprise, it was from a university in new york, it reads:

Dear miss Angelina Stephan,

brown university is pleased to inform you that your application has been accepted and is ready to welcome you in the next semester. Our office will be contacting you anytime soon to let you know about the details and papers you will need for registration.

Sincerely. Brown university ©

is this really happening, I am really going to be a college girl in 2 weeks. Oh my god, only 2 weeks. I only have 2 weeks to spend in Nashville! How am I going to leave my friends here and go away?
I spent the whole evening thinking it through. I'm always bad at taking the right decisions; it's just not my thing. Not because I have a low self-esteem, No! But it's just that I lost way too much in my life, and I can't afford losing more. Not now. Not in this moment.
I went to check on Mrs. Hamsworf, and went to buy some groceries from the store next to my house and went back home.
But there was still something pulling me back, it's like I'm the one holding myself. I'm way too hesitated to enter that door. The lights were on which means the girls arrived and I saw marc's car and joseph's bike. They must've used their key, the one I gave them, in case of emergency because I live alone in this house.
Oh and it's because of something I lost that I live alone.
I clear the bad ideas from my head and decide to enter, sooner or later; I'm going to have to tell them. I just wish they'd understand.

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That night went pretty calm, I told everybody about brown, they weren't pleased about it but they accepted it. Well they had to since I'm leaving anyway. I saw joseph standing really miserable so I went to check up on him. Apparently he's having troubles with his mother for the past 3 years because he can't find a work, so he's still taking her money.
"Don't worry joseph when I'll come back from New York I will definitely help you in everything" I said while slapping his shoulder softly. I was hoping I could help him somehow.
"Thanks Angelina I really appreciate it but I don't think I can wait that much" he was trying to cheer up with a little happy fake tone "I apparently failed in this life process "he lets a little smile out.
I really appreciate what he's trying to do and the way he jokes about his problems that it doesn't really sound like problems anymore. A person trying not to seem weak though he's destroyed inside is a strong person, and Problems are not things that happen by chance, they are decisions a person took and couldn't handle. And that's what I'm afraid of. Suddenly he gave me a smirk and went away, at first I didn't understand why but I turned around and I saw marc staring at me so hard I tried to stop staring back but I couldn't. Would it be stupid if I left for New York without him and never saw him again? I guess it would be.
"Want me to sign you an autograph creepy eyes?" I joked again trying to avoid eye contact.
It took him a while to respond, I guess he was thinking about what I said.
"I will really miss you, you know, I hope New York will treat you better than I do" he said with such a serious yet sad tone. His blue eyes were so dark I could see how mad he is. Is it from me? God of course it is. I'm leaving him, the only thing he hasn't done since the moment we met. He never left, but I will.
"I have no choice and you know that, I wish I could stay with you forever marc, but forever is impossible. I need you to understand" I was about to crack. I can't even look at him right now.
"Just know that I love you and that my arms will always catch you even though you're miles away from me" and he turned his back away from me. That was the cheesiest, shortest and saddest conversation we ever had.
"I love you too marc" I said in a very low voice that even I can barely hear while looking at him walking away.