Lying is a Sin, A Sin Hanagaki Takemichi Commits Too Often

Breath Again

June 6th, 2017

1:30 am

Takemichi had been off lately, Hanma had noticed. He knew this evening would be different to the other ones they had shared. How did he know? Because Takemichi had called him, Takemichi never called. He always texted.

"Hanagaki?" Hanma asked, making sure he had read the contact that called him right.

"Fuck just call me Takemichi, we close enough for that aren't we?" Takemichi's voice was tight, forced, like he had just swallowed a sob.

"Takemichi...well you can call me Shuji then. But, is everything okay? You never call."

"N-no I- fuck, I'm so fucked up Shuji. I'm a horrible person, I'm weak, I'm pathetic, I'm a coward-"

"Hey! Don't say such things, you are none of those thing-"
"Oh but I am, you know nothing. Nobody knows anything! But I'm too much of a fucking idiot, I'm so selfish that I don't want to tell anyone."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing Shuji, come over, I need you."

Takemichi didn't answer the door when he knocked, but it was unlocked so he tentatively entered. He heard quiet sobs coming from the bathroom, his heart clenched at the sight. He was filled with worry, Takemichi was on the ground, arms wrapped around his knees as he sobbed into them. His hair was a mess, he was only in a short sleeved shirt that went to his thighs, leaving his extremely skinny arms and legs exposed. There was a half empty bottle of what he assumed to be alcohol laying on the floor beside him, cap barely screwed on.

"Takemichi?" He crouched down in front of him and cupped the sides of his face, lifting his head. Dark circles surrounded his dull blue eyes, his lips were peeling and venturing dangerously close to looking purple, his nose and cheekbones were so defined due to the extreme lack of fat. He looked like a corpse and that terrified Hanma, no, Takemichi couldn't leave him. He would have no one.

Takemichi suddenly jumped into his lap, his mouth on his neck. Hanma pressed his hands against Takemichi's waist, grimacing at the thinness. No, he couldn't. He would hurt Takemichi.

"No, we're-we're not having sex Takemichi. You're clearly unwell," Hanma said, pulling Takemichi away from his neck. His eyes filled with more tears and Hanma wiped them away.

"So-so now I'm not even good enough to fuck? I'm fucking failing everybody," he forced out through snotty sobs.

"Hey, that's not it. You're not failing anybody. But you're clearly in no condition to be having sex."

"We-we could go gentle," Takemichi offered.

"No. It's not happening. Honestly, I should have started saying no a few months ago, you've been losing weight, clearly you're not sleeping enough and-"

"Stop! I don't need your fucking lecture, I'm already hearing it from Naoto all the time, fuck! Why can't anyone just give me what I want?"

There was definitely something off with Takemichi. For one, he never swore this much consecutively, two, he kept saying strange things like he was a coward and he was failing everybody and nobody knew anything about him.

And there in fact, was something off with Takemichi. The reason in the first place was why he looked like shit but also the reason for the half empty bottle of straight vodka (which he had intended to fully finish). Today (well, it's now yesterday he supposed) at his appointment (which he had alone since Hina was still on her honeymoon and he didn't tell Naoto about it) that his original six more months to live had been shortened to a maximum of four months after his last test results came in. The doctor gave him a similar speech, 'start saying your goodbyes', how could he do that when they had no idea? Oh yeah, because he was a coward. He was about three weeks away from turning 26, and in a few months, he would be dead.