Lying is a Sin, A Sin Hanagaki Takemichi Commits Too Often

He Knows (god why did I tell him?)

rest? don't know her? I started writing this as soon as I published yesterday's chapter

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June 6th, 2017

3am

They sat in silence. Draken was waiting for an answer. Takemichi was waiting for the courage. Draken could smell the alcohol on Takemichi's breath. Takemichi wasn't one to drink for the sake of it, he only ever did it at events or parties. He felt like he barely even knew the person sitting across from him, how much was Takemichi hiding?

"I...I want to start by saying that Shuji and I are not together," he said, avoiding Draken's gaze, keeping his own eyes on his fidgeting hands in his lap, "we just slept together occasionally."

"How? How did you even choose Hanma for something like that?"

"Shuji never did anything to me, he was just by Kisaki's side back then. We met about a year and a half back, I asked him for a smoke and somehow we ended up having sex pretty much every time we met up to smoke in the future," Takemichi supposed if he was going to tell Draken about his cancer, he might as well tell him everything else that happened in the past year.

"You smoke?" Draken asked, flabbergasted. Takemichi nodded silently in response.

"Shuji was just an escape for me, we're two people who don't have feelings for each other. It was just easy I suppose, when I wanted to be distracted, if I had a bad day, I'd text him for smokes. Smokes almost always led to sex."

"So you don't like him that way?"

"No." He said firmly. "I know what you want to know, Draken-kun, you're asking for Mikey-kun."

"Do...do you like Mikey that way?"

"More than you could ever know." He did it. Never once had he allowed himself to express his feelings for Mikey out loud. And god did it feel good to finally say it. But-

"However, for reasons I'm about to tell you. You'll understand why Mikey-kun can't know about my mutual feelings for him."

Honestly, Draken always had a feeling that Takemichi liked Mikey back, he just never understood why he didn't say anything. Other than sleeping with Hanma recently, Takemichi wasn't in any relationship that would stop him from confessing. Same for Mikey.

"Draken-kun...what I'm about to tell you...please don't be mad."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Takemichi sighed, finally turning to meet Draken's eyes, "I-I can't be with Mikey-kun, or anyone because...because I-" why was it so hard to say it? He just needed to push those words out, he couldn't delay the inevitable any longer, "I have cancer."

The silence was deafening, Takemichi could feel the blood pounding in his ears, hear his heart race, hear the way his lungs contracted. Draken's eyes, they were black endless pools, but unlike Mikey's, they always held this sense of ease, like gentle waves at night. Now, they were sharp, the waves no longer gently crashing into one another, but rather complete stillness, like a frozen lake that was so thin you wouldn't dare go near without the fear of falling through into the freezing waters.

"Cancer..." his voice was dry, he didn't know what else to say. He didn't know how to feel in response to that word. "How...how long? How long have you known?"

Takemichi swallowed audibly, "I found out around the start of last year," he whispered.

Draken was trying his best, he really was, to stay calm. But how could he? How could he after finding out that one of his best friends has hid the fact that he's had cancer for a year and a half? But he also hated himself for not questioning Takemichi sooner. His rapid weight loss, refusing to eat, the discolouration of his skin, something almost always covering his hair these recent months. Closing the bakery randomly which he assumed must have been for appointments.