Ross&Rachel: Find Myself

Chapter 12: Ιt's gonna be fine.

Rachel was standing outside the door, breathing heavily... She wasn't sure whether she should knock and go inside or just turn around and leave. She closed her eyes and inhaled, the same way Ross has shown her a few weeks ago when he took her to his favorite spot, and then she opened her eyes and knocked on the door.

"So Rachel" is this the first time you're trying therapy?

"Yes," she said piercing dr. Wolf's eyes.

"And what brings you here, dear?"

"I don't even know where to begin with"

"Why don't you try from the start?"

An hour later and Rachel was walking back to her home. The weekend has passed without contacting either Ross or Monica who had bombarded her with missed calls. Her initial plan was to go find Ross, as soon as possible and talk to him, but something inside her, kept her glued to the "safety" of her home. Ah... that said "safety", the perfect "Green bubble" just burst into a million pieces that weekend. Her dad came back, after being away the last few weeks and then, both parents called the girls to the living room and announced they're getting divorced. Just like that. It wasn't much of a surprise, at least not for her. The memory of them fighting in the living room was still very fresh to her, but still, there was something about them announcing their separation that caused a deep pain right in her heart. She didn't cry like Jill and she definitely didn't ask where would "daddy's new home" be and how "big her new room" would be like Amy. She just stared at both with frozen eyes.

"Pumpkin," her father said, "say something".

"I hope it's for the best" she replied and then, she looked at her mother. 

Her mother could pass as the superficial kind of woman. She had a rich husband and three gorgeous, famous daughters and she was attending fancy tea parties and she could afford whatever she wanted but she wasn't happy. Even now, that she was taking a step towards freedom, she wasn't happy, and Rachel could see that. It was the first time, that she felt like she could understand her mother and it pained her. She felt trapped, in a fake "happy" family, in a school label she hasn't chosen, in her boring life.

"I... I can't say I'm surprised. I just hope that this" Rachel said while waving her hands "will make you both happy" she said looking at both her parents and then she excused herself. That night, her sisters crept inside her room and shared funny stories from their childhood. They weren't yelling, nor stealing her stuff, they were just looking for comfort and they fell asleep in their bigger sister's arms. Monday came faster than expected and Rachel skipped school and she also skipped on Tuesday. And now, there she was, drastically waiting outside dr. Wolf's office. Her mother agreed almost immediately, especially after noticing Rachel's reaction once the news was delivered. The first meeting was good. Rachel talked about her family mostly, about her family, about the family she found along the way in Monica's face, and about Chip. She avoided mentioning Ross or what happened just four days ago. "Oh God" she inhaled sharply... "how much shit can happen in just four days".

The same afternoon found Monica knocking on Rachel's door.

"Monica dear" Sandra greeted her "come inside"

"Hellos miss Green, sorry for coming uninvited, but I'm really worried about Rachel. I'm trying to reach her and she's nowhere to be found"

"Oh yes, of course... Rachel's been feeling a bit sick" Sandra lied "that's why she didn't come to school, but she's all better know, you should go upstairs and see so yourself"

"Thanks" Monica replied and disappeared from her sight

*knock, knock, knock*

"Mom for the millionth time I'm not hungry"