ThE bAd BaTcH

28 5 2

by mewtwocool

by mewtwocool

...With a guest appearance from Commando Gregor!!! ;D

Wrecker: Croissants: dropped
Tech: Road: works ahead
Hunter: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Omega: Shavacado: fre
Echo: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Crosshair:
Crosshair, grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Tech: Hunter... How do I begin to explain Hunter?
Omega: Hunter is flawless.
Crosshair: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Echo: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
Wrecker: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Hunter: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Omega: ...I did. I broke it.
Hunter: No. No you didn't. Wrecker?
Wrecker: Don't look at me. Look at Echo.
Echo: What?! I didn't break it.
Wrecker: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Echo: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Wrecker: Suspicious.
Echo: No, it's not!
Tech: If it matters, probably not, but Crosshair was the last one to use it.
Crosshair: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Tech: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Crosshair: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Tech!
Omega: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Hunter.
Hunter: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Crosshair: Hunter... Wrecker's been awfully quiet.
Wrecker: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Hunter, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Hunter: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Hunter:
Hunter: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Gregor: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Echo: Nope, absolutely not.
Wrecker: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Hunter: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Crosshair: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Tech: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.