Hauntingly Beautiful (Completed)

Loving Myself

Tine and Wat were sitting on the couch with considerable distance between them. Wat had stopped crying but he still looked on the verge of breakdown. Tine had absolutely no expression on his face. He looked so cold and distance, Wat felt his heart rate increase. Nothing good ever came out of phrase like "We need to talk". Was he going to break up with him? Divorce? Though it's understandable but Wat still wanted to be selfish and stay with Tine.

"Wat, calm down for a second."

"I'm calm. Say whatever you've to say. I'm listening. "

"Give me your phone." Tine asked.

Wat handed his phone left on the table. Tine scrolled through his contacts and blocked and deleted Eren's number. Tine blocked him on all of Wat's social media accounts.

"You won't talk with Eren anymore."

"Of course. I won't even look at him."

"If you befriend anyone from now, you'll let me know before you exchange your number or hang out with them."

"Sure."

"You won't bring them here until I say so."

"Okay."

"Our room is off limits to anyone except two of us. Is that clear?"

"Yes, definitely."

"You will always inform me if you go out alone anywhere."

"Okay."

"We'll go to college together and came back home together unless we've some other stuff to do."

"Okay."

"We'll always have lunch together."

"Sure."

Wat was readily agreeing to all of Tine's demands, to be honest they weren't even demands to begin with. These stuffs were more like concern and care. Wat could see how much Tine worried about him. He always made Tine worry. Tine was his pillar of support but same couldn't be said about him. He never protected Tine from anything. He was always the one who needed to be protected.

"I have one more demand. "

"Okay, what is it Tine?"

"From this moment onwards you'll never apologize for other people's mistake and crime. You won't call yourself worthless or pathetic or a whore. Trust me, Wat if you ever dared to call yourself that I would punch you right then and there. And God forbid if you talked about killing yourself again under any circumstances, I'll definitely kick the hell out of you."

"I'm sorry, Tine. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking straight. I had acted so stupidly. Making you worry so much."

"I won't say it's okay because it's not. I'm not okay. It hurts you know. When I came to the room and saw him on the top of you, all I could think of 'Was I too late?' 'Did he hurt my Wat?' 'How will my Wat recover from this?' That's all I could think. I wanted to kill him then and there. But I couldn't. If I went to jail who would take care of you?"

"Tine, I definitely don't deserve you." Wat was sobbing while clutching on Tine's shirt. Tine wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly to jis chest.

"When I looked at your condition, it struck me that's how it must've been for all those years. Everytime Watson did that to you, that's how utterly broken and desperate you must have looked. And you had absolutely no one to hug you at that time and it broke something inside me. It made me so livid and crazy that I needed time to sort out my thoughts. I didn't say anything yesterday because I wasn't in right mindset to talk with you. "

"It's okay. I understand. I was worried that you would leave me. When I woke up in the morning and didn't find you anywhere, I thought you had left me. Not that I'll blame you but I can't live without you. That's why I picked up the knife. I won't do it ever again. I shouldn't have threatened you with my life. It was really wrong of me. I'm so sorry."

"Yes, it was wrong of you. No matter the circumstances, don't even think of throwing away your life. You've struggled too much to throw it away like that. I went out to clear my mind that's all. I wasn't leaving and I'm not going to leave."

"Thank you, Tine. It means so much to me. I'm sorry about Eren. I just wanted a friend. Eren seemed like a kind person. I should have been more careful but it felt so good to have a friend after so long that I didn't care. But trust me I don't like him like that. Trust me. "

"I know, Wat. The way you look at me, you aren't capable of looking at anyone else like that. I won't let you anyway. You're mine, Wat. You may make friends because you should live your life to fullest but if I ever see anyone look at you the wrong way, I don't think I'll only stop at punches.

As for you, don't even think of leaving me or liking someone else, though I'm not capable of hurting you physically or mentally but I'll definitely lock you up in this house forever if I have to. I love you too much."

"I won't even think of that, Tine. You're my everything, you know that."

"I know. But I want you to love yourself more."

"Huh?"

"Wat, you've been through worst thing anyone could ever go through. You haven't recovered mentally yet. You may think it's all okay now but it's not. You need to start loving yourself more than the world. We will go to therapy together. I need to know how I should take care of you. You need special care and I should know how to give it."

"You've done enough, Tine."

"Enough? It's not like I'm doing a job. I love taking care of you. We'll get better together. It won't happen overnight but we've all the time in the world. We will get better bit by bit. I'm sorry Wat for not embracing you yesterday. You must've been so scared."

"It's okay. I understand now, Tine. You should love yourself too."

"I love myself very much just so you know."

Wat giggled at that. He was over the moon. How could he even think his Tine would leave him? He loved him so much. Tine was truly an angel. Heart like that full of compassion and love, how lucky he was to have it.

"You are too precious and it hurts me when you don't realize that. You didn't deserve what happened last night or before that. So don't ever say it's your fault. Yes, you should have been more careful but it doesn't give others excuse to hurt you. That crime is on their head, don't take blame for that. You're the victim here. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I was too shaken up to think clearly."

"I understand. And Wat, next time you ever go on your knees in front of me it'll be only to suck me off. Don't you ever beg me like that to love you. You've my love even without asking."