Lead Me Out of the Dark

Fuck Life

DECK’S POV

When I saw her like that, crying brokenly on the floor, I wanted to kill myself. I knew it was all my fault that she felt disgusting. I was a terrible excuse for a human being. When she’d kissed me, my guard had fallen down so quickly that I’d felt it physically. She had touched my scars, but she wasn’t disgusted or mortified, like Tiffany had been. She had caressed them lovingly with her fingertips, like she wanted to take all of my pain away. She understood the pain I’d been and the pain I was in. She knew what Hell felt like. She had been there too.

That was what had driven me to kiss her. I’d always been so careful around her, squashing down the urge to touch her. It was much harder than it looked like. Even when I’d first met her, I’d jumped into her truck and touched her. It had barely been a brush against her wrist, but it was enough. I loved her eyes the most. They were this gorgeous sky blue color, and they reflected so much pain that I wondered why no one else saw it like I did. Guys commented on her ass and her tits but they never saw how much she was hurting. Every day, she looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I’d taken her to the Ghost Carnival. She had no idea that that was my special place. I had one too, just like her cliff. When the Ghost Carnival hadn’t been there, I’d used to come to that spot in the forest when I needed a break from my mother’s friends. I’d marveled at how dark the spot was, even in the middle of the day. The meadow had so much mystery, so much allure, that I’d somehow always found my way back there. I shared so much of myself with Skye and she had no idea. I’d given pieces of myself to her. They were carefully disguised, and I think she understood that I was hesitant to reveal my secrets to anyone.

When she made that comment about me being gay in the field that day, I’d snapped. I’d seen the way Jack was staring at her ass behind her back. I’d seen the way he would appraise her body when she wasn’t looking. Every guy did it, and she never so much as noticed. I’d known this when I’d first met her. She’d told me her name was Skye, and I’d immediately made the connection. She was more gorgeous than the guys had said in the locker room. I’d known that she was completely clueless when it came to the opposite sex. Yet...I’d mistakenly assumed I’d had a chance with her. I thought I could be the guy for her. I’d never been so stupid in my entire life.

If she didn’t like any of the guys at her school, why would she like me? I was nothing special. Over time, we’d become friends. We’d become dependent on each other. I liked it more than I cared to admit. She knew some of my secrets, and I knew all of hers. I had planned to watch her back, to be careful not to let her get to attached to me. As much as I wanted her to be my girl and no one else’s, I knew that was much too selfish. The universe would only make bad things happen to her. She would get sucked into my black vortex of bad luck.

I remembered that day, when she had been talking with Linda. She’d thought I was asleep, but I’d only been pretending. I had been very much awake…

**** DECK’S MEMORY

I’d watched as Linda walked into the room, carrying pills. I’d winced, thinking they were for me. Instead, I watched in horror and fascination and she walked over to Skye. So Skye was on medication. She was just as messed up as I was.

“Sorry. I don’t want Deck to know,” She had exclaimed. My heard had twisted like it did whenever she said my name. At first, I thought she had found me out. I wasn’t as good as pretending to be asleep as I thought I was. Instead, when I opened my eyes, I found she wasn’t looking at me. She was staring at Linda. Linda twisted her lips to the side, as if she was contemplating something. Skye took the little white pill and downed it.

                “There are two this morning. You missed your dose last night. You’re normally very on top of things,” Linda said, lifting her hand. Skye groaned. Her groan was a pang to my gut. It was easily the sexiest sound I’d ever heard.