Lead Me Out of the Dark

911

I cried much harder than I’d cried in my entire life for two nights straight. I cried harder than I had at my dad’s funeral. I cried harder than I had when I figured out I’d been drugged and kidnapped. I cried harder than I had when Jack had tried to rape me. Losing Deck was a new low. I’d lost him once, I’d managed to have him in my arms again, and then, just as swiftly as he’d come, he was gone. I decided there were only two people who could help me right now- Ben and Jerry. I headed down to the kitchen, wiping my tears in case anyone saw. Of course, it was midnight. No one was around to see me cry.

When I got to the kitchen, someone was already there. They were opening up the silverware drawer. What the Hell? I wondered silently. When I looked up, I realized it was Deck. He was wearing the hoodie that I had thrown at him several days ago. He was picking up a knife from the drawer. It wasn’t an ordinary knife- it was the corkscrew that opened up wine bottles. I did a quick glance around. There were no wine bottles around. Why would he need that unless…unless he was using that to cut himself. I raced over and shoved Deck against the wall. I’d surprised him, so I managed to yank the corkscrew out of his hand. It flew across the room and landed on the floor a foot away from us.

“What the Hell do you think you’re -” I snapped. When I saw his face, though, I stopped abruptly. He was sobbing. I don’t mean he was crying, like, I just lost my dog so I’m crying. He was crying like a piece of him had died. He was crying like he was going to kill himself. He looked so vulnerable, then. He looked like none of his usual walls were up. In that moment, he was just lost, simple as that.

“Skye,” he sobbed. I didn’t care that he wanted to push me away. I didn’t care that he hated me. When he said my name, everything inside of me snapped. I didn’t have any willpower left. I didn’t have anything left. What he didn’t realize was I was just as broken as he was. I shot forward, barreling at him and wrapping my arms around him. We ended up on the floor. I was resting in his lap, crying my eyes out. Deck was clutching at me because I was the only thing standing between him and an extremely sharp blade. We were clutching at each other so tightly because we needed each other.

“What’s…?” Linda trailed off. She had just walked in, surprising the Hell out of the both of us. When she saw the corkscrew on the floor, she ran straight for the phone. I could hear her sobbing as she waited for them to answer. Neither of us moved, even when the ambulance arrived. They said that since technically the call had been about Deck, I wasn’t allowed to come. Only one guest could come in the ambulance, and that had to be his guardian.

“No!” Deck screamed when the EMT tried to lift me out of his lap. He’d yanked me into his chest. He was like a frightened child. I stood up, but Deck howled, his eyes accusing and scared at the same time. He was silently telling me, you’re giving up!? I hate you! At the same time that they said, Don’t leave me! I hugged him tightly.

“Shhh, Deck, don’t worry. I’m going to fix this, okay?” I asked, looking at his eyes. They were the grayest I’d ever seen them. He nodded reluctantly.

“Hurry,” he whispered, eyeing the EMT as if he thought they might tranquilize him. I pulled one of the EMT’s aside, keeping my eyes on Deck. He was crying brokenly, his knees clutched to his chest.

“Listen, I’ve been to the place that you’re taking him. I’ve been having horrible suicidal thoughts lately, and Deck’s been helping me with that. If you leave me here, you’re putting us both at risk. He’s only going to be angry at Linda right now. He needs some time to cool off. Let me come in the ambulance, because I need to go this place just as badly as he does. Besides, without me, he’s going to fight you all the way there,” I explained. The EMT bit her lip. I knew that she was wavering slightly. She had to let me come.